Placebo || 3Racha ✔️

13

I head into the gym with my bag resting on my shoulder. I was able to leave work at my normal time, so I headed straight here. I texted Chan earlier and asked if he wanted to join, but he's been busy at work too, so he couldn't.

I head to the locker rooms after I sign in. This shouldn't be a problem. They shouldn't be able to come here. I'm safe here. I stuff my things into the locker, spinning the code so it wouldn't unlock.

My earbuds are playing loudly, so all of the noise around me is drowned out. It's just me and the equipment. I'm safe. Nothing can happen here.

Let's get to warming up. I only want to take an hour or so. I still want to be with my lovers. If I can de-stress, I'll feel better around them. It feels like it's been weeks or maybe even a month where I haven't had a calm, normal afternoon with them.

Twenty minutes goes by. I'm barely breaking a sweat because I just started up my actual routine. I do feel better now that I'm here. Jisung was right, as always.

As I start to do my last rep of weighted squats, my music pauses as my phone buzzes in my pocket. I set the barbell on its rack, reaching to answer the call. It's an unknown number.

I hit accept call, a bad feeling erupting in my stomach already. "Hello?"

There's breathing on the other line. I grab my things while listening. Heading back to the locker rooms, I hear a small chant of 'where are you?'.

Hanging up, I slide behind a curtain. Immediately, I block the number. On the bench, I close my eyes. Why can't this creep leave me alone? Why? Why me?

My phone vibrates against the wood, making me jump. Jisung's photo pops up. I breathe heavily into the phone. I wished to anyone that he wouldn't question it. I'm working out... I was trying to work out. I'd be out of breath, right? Yeah.

"Hey, what's up?" I clench my jaw, closing my eyes. The locker room was empty, but I hid in a changing stall anyway.

"Hi, hi. Did you move my keys or accidentally take them by any chance?" Jisung questions.

"Um," I swallow. "No, I-I don't think so." Just calm down. You're fine. It's fine.

"Okay, I'll call Chan. Are you okay? You sound really out of breath. You run on the treadmill today? Leg day~"

"Y-yeah, u-um-" My throat squeezes my words back, only allowing a thin line of air to get in and out. I squeeze my phone tighter, my fingers turning white.

"Changbin? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I-I-" I can't. I can't get it out. Tears roll down my cheeks, leaving a burning trail. I let out a high squeak when I try to talk again.

"Changbin, what's wrong? What happened?"

Why can't I calm down? He thinks something is wrong. He can't know. He can't. They can't. I hang up the phone, going to our messages. I text him I'm okay, I was in the changing room and the service was bad. My hands are trembling so hard that it's difficult to type.

He messages back quickly, questioning the holes in my lie. I can't respond. I drop my phone, leaning back against the wall and gripping the tiles. Ground yourself. It's fine. You're fine. You're fine.

My phone buzzes on the floor with another incoming call. I glance. Blocked number. Seeing that sends me into a deeper level of panic.

"Changbin?" A voice echos through the room. Chan. Why was Chan here? He said he couldn't come today. Why was he here? Oh, god. Please calm down. Please. He can't see me like this.

My curtain slides open and Chan is immediately on his knees. I close my eyes, squeezing them shut. My limbs were so tense. It hurt so bad.

"Open your eyes. Hey, bun. Please." Chan touches my face, his warmth covering the cold. I do as he says, forcing my eyes open. "Good. You're doing good. Now breathe in through your nose."

I do it, but my chest tightens. Red alarms hit me inside of my head. I clench my eyes shut, leaning forward. Listen to him. Listen to him. In and out. It's simple. Don't be dumb. In and out.

I open my mouth, breaths coming in and out quickly. This isn't good. This isn't what he meant. My lungs burn with too much air.

"Baby, baby. Look at me. Look at me."

He lifts my head, waiting. I force open my eyes again. My breaths are getting bigger, dizzying me. "Breathe in and hold it."

I take in a sharp one, only holding it for two seconds before letting it out. The pattern is the same as before.

"That was good. Try again. You can do it."

Chan pulls me into his arms, supporting my body weight. I grab onto one of his arms, sliding my hand down to his hand. I grasp it tightly, feeling a bit of relief. His warmth. His scent. Just think about his voice saying that it was okay. In, hold it, and out. It's simple. It's okay.

"There you go, bun. There it is."