Placebo || 3Racha ✔️

24

As months went by, so did trials. The guy wasn't hard to find. He didn't try escaping the city or country. Just tried hiding.

He would look at me from time to time in the court room. Staring at me like I was a future meal. I refused to make eye contact with him. Though he was in cuffs, I could imagine scenarios where he could get them off and throw himself at me or my loved ones.

He was going to prison for four years. Because there was no violence nor a direct threat, he would not get long. His crimes were stalking, breaking-and-entering, and animal mutilation. The three of us were all also filing a restraining order against him.

We never found what he did with the letters, but there was one letter I did have as evidence aside from the one that came with the heart. When he had stuck it to my windshield at work, I left it in my car when I went inside the house. That was one of the worst letters he wrote, and also has an indirect threat on it.

He's left a huge stain on my life. Trauma seeps through my blood as if it were water on tissues. Fortunately, my work has granted medical leave for me. My assistant helped me process the paperwork as a witness to my declining mental health.

I don't know how long it will take to get myself back up. My lawyer and partners have suggested therapy, in which I took it upon myself to call and book an appointment. My soon-to-be therapist will have their work cut out for them.

For now, I sit at home with my boys. Their work has let them take some time off to be with me as they also experienced part of the trauma. I don't think I've ever been held so tight when we're all in bed together.

They're afraid of losing me. I'm afraid of losing myself. We're all afraid of losing our sanities. This was an extreme step back from where we had once came from. Honestly, I don't know how I have been able to go into the house.

I loved our house. I did. But I can't help but think of the bloodied walls and trauma experienced within it. We moved our bedroom to the guest room. None of us could stand to sleep in the same room as those words.

The crime scene cleaners did well. They don't have the tools to erase it from our memories, though.