Placebo || 3Racha ✔️

28 - End

I quickly leave the room, escaping to the guest room. I get into our connected bathroom, opening my pill bottle.

Severe anxiety pills - take as needed. I only need these sometimes. This is one of those times. My heart is beating rapidly. My hands are trembling. I'm barely keeping my breathing stable.

"Changbin, Changbin, Changbin, Changbin," I chant to myself. I'm my own person. No one else's. No one can take me away. I'm here. "There's a kiwi. Kiwi. Kiwi. Kiwi. It's green. It's lime green. It's fuzzy. It's brown and fuzzy. It's smells sweet. It smells green."

Things to get my mind settled.

I can smell again. My senses aren't overwhelmed. It's just me in my bathroom.

Is it? I'm still watching you.

Stop it. I scream at my brain. How has he gotten in my head? This isn't real. Open your eyes Changbin. You're anxiety is fucking you up. You can't be alone right now.

I sigh, feeling the counter. It's smooth. The marble is smooth. I'm overthinking.

I can hear the movie from the hallway as I trudge down it. Jisung and Chan are on either side of the couch. Chan's feet are on the other's lap. They look like they're done eating dinner.

"I-um, h-hey," I breathe out. They both look over, worried expressions etched on their faces.

"Hey, bunny. Why don't you come sit?" Jisung invites, smiling softly at me.

My lip wobbles. I squeeze my eyes shut, hiding behind my own hand. Tears trail down my cheeks. Please save me. Please come here.

And they do. Two pairs of arms wrap me up tightly. I bawl loudly into their bodies. He's been put away, yet I'm still so fucking terrified.

"Please don't leave me. I'm so sorry. He's in my head. He won't leave. Help me. Please help me," I beg, leaning almost my full weight into them. I'm so emotional my body begins to lose it's strength. "Why won't it go away? Why? No matter what I do. No matter what we do. He's always here."

-

Once I calm down, exhaustion begins to pull at my eyelids. I tell myself I need to eat first before I decide to sleep. Jisung already has my bowl, warm and ready. I sit between them.

They're my knights. They're my guards. I was the prince who was almost run down, but saved by my people. The crown is still mine, though it keeps slipping off. We're okay.

"Lay down on me baby. Go to sleep. We've got you."

And they do. They always do. No matter how angry I am at them or how upset they are with me. No matter the regretful words that have slipped from my tongue. No matter the times I have lied and pushed them away. They're here. They are still around.

I know they've got me.

The End