Placebo || 3Racha ✔️

17

Ms.Shin knocks on my door, startling me awake. I sit up, rubbing my face and brushing down my hair quickly.

"Come in."

When she sees me, her eyes widen. "Sir, are you feeling alright? Did you... sleep here?"

"No, just a late night. What do you need?"

"I came to tell you good morning. I noticed you were here earlier than usual. Are you sure everything is alright?"

"It is, Ms.Shin. Thank you."

She nods, bowing before leaving. She was always so thoughtful. She's the best assistant I've ever had.

-

Hours go by. No messages. Of course. Why would they message me? One, they're working. Two, I'm supposed to be mad at them. Why would they message if they thought they'd piss me off more?

Really, I'm not mad. At all. I'm in pain. I'm living through agony. It's killing me, at this point. I don't know what to do.

All I can do is focus on my work, which is two emails away from being done. I can go home early. Not exactly something I look forward to.

I work slowly. The dread settling in the pit on my stomach. I was terrified. What if they pried it out of me? What if they became mad at me? What if they completely ignored me?

I clench my bag in my hands as I walk out to my car. My heart drops when I notice a letter hooked underneath the windshield wiper.

I take it, opening it quickly.

Is the family fighting again? How sad. Maybe you're purposefully doing it for me. Are you falling finally? Such a heartwarming thought. I can help you get rid of them. Though, I see you're doing just fine by yourself.

My eyelids flutter. I was going to be sick. I needed to get home. I needed to see if they were okay. I needed to know if he hurt them.

I'm doing twenty over the speed limit by the time I reach our street. When I see our driveway, both cars are there. They're not supposed to be home yet. I was planning on waiting for them.

I jump out of my car, sprinting to the door. Flower petals on the welcome mat. My heart is beating out of my chest when I whip the door open. It bangs against the back wall, making me flinch.

I see Chan first. He's at the table, staring at me with wide eyes. Then Jisung. He comes from the hallway, worriedly walking over.

They're okay.

I fall to my knees. Jisung gasps, coming to my side quickly. He tries lifting my head, but I'm completely out of it. I'm having a heart attack. My breathing is tearing my lungs into two. My arms go numb.

All I feel is fire and ice.

Chan is trying to talk to me. I can't hear anything but a ringing in my ears. I want to say I'm sorry. I want to hold them in my arms. I want them to hold me in their arms.

But I can't. I can't do anything. I can't do anything right. I always fuck it up. I always make shitty things happen.

I hate myself.

____

•istg if any one of you says, 'me too,' to that last part, imma be mad•