Placebo || 3Racha ✔️

16

Jisung finds me at my desk, chewing my nails down until they begin to bleed. He's home later than usual. Why was he late? Did he hate me all of a sudden? Did my stalker do something to him?

The words kept repeating in my head. The note was burned into my irises. How did someone have so much time? So many words, yet little explanation.

My boyfriend pulls me to our small kitchen table, sitting me down and looking sternly at me. "Tell me what's going on."

I shrug, avoiding eye contact. What am I supposed to say to this? "Nothing."

"Baby, come on. You're not yourself. Talk to me." I hear him come over, but before he can do anything, I snap.

"Don't touch me, Jisung."

"You need to talk to me. To us. What's been going on? I know it's not work. At least not all of it."

"I said fuck off, Jisung!" I yell, turning over to face him with fire in my eyes. "Leave it alone! Drop it! I obviously don't want to talk about it!"

He looks taken aback. Before the guilt can set in, Chan rushes in. Why is he home so early? What's going on today? Is my perception of time really off? Were they enjoying time together without me? Were they trying to figure out how to get rid of me?

"Why are you yelling at him? What the fuck is going on?"

My mouth shuts. I look at Chan, then to Jisung. They're both upset. It all happened so fast, but I can't do this right now. It's too tense. I can't.

I pick my jacket up, heading to the door. Chan steps in my way, trying to force me to explain myself.

"Get out of my way, Chan," I growl. Why did I feel so ready to fight, cry, and puke at the same time?

"Tell us what's going on."

The anger was slowing fading to fright. I couldn't let it. I had to stand my ground. They couldn't know. It would hurt them too much.

"Leave me alone."

Chan crosses his arms. Jisung stands to the side. I didn't want to hurt them. I didn't want to do anything bad to them. But I couldn't let them know. There was too much at stake.

"Where are you going to go?"

"Move."

"Chan, just let him go. We all need to cool off. Bin, please think about what you are doing. We'll be here for you. Just be safe."

I walk forward, bumping Chan's shoulder as I go by. Why did I do that? He lets me go, listening to Jisung, as always. We both usually do. He's the one that's always level-headed.

I pull on my shoes, the tears falling without permission. I know they were watching me. They're wondering why, as am I. We have the same questions directed toward different things.

I don't know where I'm going to go. They're my best friends. My parents live hours away. I don't want to bother my other friends, but a few have said if I needed anything, to go to them. Should I? Or should I drive all night without a destination?

What if I stay here all night? Just in my car. No. They work. They'll see me when they come out. And... they could see me. The stranger. The creeper. The stalker.

The thought makes me want to run back inside and lock everything up. But I can't. Not after that. Why? I don't know. I'd say something. It would come out on accident. I was weak for them.

Work, it is.