The secret

Reasons of Doubt

Ash's POV
I wonder what it would be like if I was dead because Luke, Cal and Mikey don't need me and neither does my mom or siblings.

I start to pack and I make sure to pack all of my blades.

My mom drives me over, she said "Ash,I wanted to give you when I thought you would be old enough and ready for it."

She hands it to me and it's my grandfathers trinket. It was drumsticks that he used in war. I started to cry and my mom said "Please call me when you land and so I know your ok."

I give her a huge hug and a kiss, I get my stuff and walk into Cal's house.

They all stare at me and Luke comes running over and lifts me up, kisses down my neck and starts to be super grabby, I really didn't like it, I pushed him off.

I walked over to Mikey, Luke looked pissed off at me. Cal walks in and says "Change of plans guys, we are leaving for the airport now, so let's go, do you guys have everything.

Mikey said it's going to be a little bit till the limo gets here, so I run up to the bathroom and take out a razor so I would be fine during the flight.

I have 15 on each wrist, 20 on my thighs and 10 on my stomach. Cal comes up and knocks on the door and says "Ash hurry up!"

I walk out and now I feel like passing out, Cal catches me. "He says Ash, mate you ok?"
I said "Yeah just a little tired."

Luke grabs my stuff and we get in, I fall asleep on his lap because I was tired from the cutting; the drive is 3 hrs long.

Luke's POV
Ash is getting smaller and smaller, it's scaring the shit out of me, one day I saw blood stains on his jeans and his shirtsleeves.

I could be wrong but I don't want him hurting himself because he doesn't deserve that. He snuggles into my side, starts shaking so I cover him up in a blanket and he falls asleep immediately.

We get to the airport, I wake up Ash, he seems worse than before so when we get on the plane; he falls asleep again.

Cal's POV
We all have been noticing how Ash is getting smaller and smaller.

I know something's really wrong, I'm super scared I know what's bulimic or an anexoric person looks like because I used to have bulimia and Mikey used to have anexoria.

We are dating and he has helped me so much, Luke doesn't even know about this no one does not even our families.

I knew from the day I met him I was going to marry him and I'm so lucky to have him.

Mikey's POV
I'm scared for Ash, I know what he has and once we land in going to ask him about it.

I know they used to bully him a lot including me and I fucking wish I didn't because I cause this hell.

He looked so peaceful sleeping. I snuggle up next to Cal and me gives me a kiss and starts kissing my neck.

Damn I fucking love this boy, He is my boy with a Cinderblock garden. We are going to be runaways, they wouldn't catch us in the dark, roll like thunder burn like stars.

They will have to find another heart to break and I fucking love ATL. I fall asleep listening to runaways.

Ash's POV
During this dream I can't stop shaking, it's Mikey and Cal holding me down while Luke is abusing me.

I feel Luke hold me tight, he says its just a dream babe, it's not real, nothing can hurt you in it.

Fuck did I wish he was right because all I dreamed of was nightmares. I look back and I see Cal and Mikey holding hands.

They're cuddling and sleeping. My head started pounding so I started sleeping.

I really need a blade or to purge. I need to be free of pain for just a while but it never fucking stops.

Luke's POV
Ash is really starting to scare me, so when he was sleeping I pushed down his sleeves.

I was wrong he doesn't cut himself I didn't see any scars.
I have known for a long time that Cal and Mike were dating. I

will go down with that ship, wow I sound like a fan girl. I fall asleep and dream of Ash.

Cal's POV
  Me and Mikey are going to watch the lion king. We starts crying when Mufussa dies and so do I.

He says your my Mufussa and I'm your simba, I kiss him and start crying.

I said Mikey Gordon Fucking Clifford, I love you so fucking much, you make me so fucking happy and you bring out the best in me.
We fall asleep again happiness is alive in me
again.

Sorry for such a late update, I had a lot of things going on this is probably shit but I'll will give you guys a better one and let me know if you like it of not! Thanx guys!!
Luv u all,
Chelsea xx