𝐂𝐑𝐘ᵃʳⁱᵃⁿᵃ ᵍʳᵃⁿᵈᵉ

nine

dinner came and went quickly, and an hour after we all finished, jay and aurora were knocked out. it was around eight, which is when they usually fell asleep, so i wasn't very surprised.

mom had bassinets here too for when she would watch over them so we brought them into the living room as the four of us sat on the couches and had a glass of wine. i was only going to have one small glass since i still had to drive home.

i felt frankie's eyes on me from the other end of the couch so i looked over at him. he sent me a smile that i returned, but he again saw right through me.

"are you okay, babe? you've been acting all weird tonight." he asked, his eyebrows furrowed. his words made mom and nonna look at me, the same look held in their eyes.

i felt my cheeks blaze and my hands were squeezing my glass. "yeah, why wouldn't i be?" i forced out a breathy laugh as my eyes darted back and forth between the three of them. i knew they didn't believe me.

"you look upset, sweetheart. did you and y/n get into a fight or something?" mom asked me with her soft voice, calming me down as her question made my heart race at the same time.

i chewed on my lip and nodded reluctantly, taking a sip from my glass. all three of them "awed" at the same time and frankie pouted.

"alright, spill. what'd you do?" nonna joked, pulling a small chuckle from mom and frankie. it only made me roll my eyes and sigh, thinking back to everything again.

"i-it wasn't me, it was her."

my words shocked them, their eyes going wide. even they knew that y/n wasn't the type to start an argument or to even be in an argument, but i on the other hand was, so i understand their shock to a certain degree.

no one said anything but they leaned forward and i swear i saw their ears grow bigger.

i swallowed thickly and downed the rest of my drink, putting the glass down on the table.

"just...she's been a little bit off lately. about two months ago she started having trouble sleeping and she would take a run or whatever to try and help. the first night i noticed, she told me some stuff that she was thinking about that was giving her trouble, and i thought that was that. but it's not. today she was..."

i trailed off, not wanting to make y/n seem like such a horrible person but i needed to tell someone what's been going on.

"today she was down in the studio for hours and when i went to ask her about dinner, it was like completely smoked out in there. i asked her about dinner and she was being kinda cold and said no. i-i asked her to think about it and then she kinda just snapped, and she raised her voice a little bit. i could tell how fucked up she was but that doesn't give her any reason to talk to me like she was.

"i went on a whole thing where i called her out and told her to sleep on the couch tonight, and how i would be pissed if she was still fucked up when we got home. when i finished, she..." i paused, sucking in a deep breath. "...she called me a bitch."

jaws were dropped and wine glasses almost were too.

"no the fuck she did not!" frankie gasped, holding one hand over his heart as the other clutched his glass so it didn't slip from his grasp.

the frown on my face was permanent as i slowly nodded, just wanting to stop talking about this and forget about it all.

"i-i don't know what to do, guys. there's something going on and she won't tell me! i'm worried sick more than i'm upset with her because i know that wasn't really her. y/n would never treat me like that-ever. you guys know that just as much as i do."

my eyes grew heavy with another wave of tears and i wiped one away as it fell. frankie scooted closer to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders as i fell into him, crying into his shoulder.

nonna and mom got up at the same time and came to the couch, taking seats on the other side of me.

"you said she told you what was bothering her that night? what was that?" mom asked, her hand rubbing my arm gently.

"s-she said that she was having nightmares. something about when i...i had my miscarriage and i was all alone, and she hated that she couldn't be there with me. and i always knew that she struggled with that but whenever i'd bring it up, she'd shut down!" i couldn't stop the tears at this point, my sobs absorbing into frankie shirt.

it was silent in the room besides the sound of my cries and sobs. mom continued to rub my arm and my back as frankie held me tightly. i couldn't see her, but i knew that nonna was deep in thought because she hadn't said anything, which is nothing like her.

after what felt like years, i slowly pulled my face out of frankie's arms and sniffed. i rested the side of my head against his shoulder as i tried to calm down, his and my mother's touch helping tremendously.

"i'm...i'm so worried that this is going to be a recurring thing. you know? her dad was a terrible drunk and he beat her and her mom sometimes, and clara was struggling with alcohol for a decade before she went to rehab. i just...i don't want her to go through that like they did. i need her. aurora and jay need her; they need their mama. i can't lose her to this, i can't."

frankie began to stoke my hair as he leaned his head against my own. "m-maybe this is just a one time thing? maybe y/n just needed to let loose for a day?" you can tell that he doesn't even believe what he's saying.

"you didn't see the way she looked at me, frankie. she looked like she fucking hated me! it didn't even look like her. that wasn't my y/n, it couldn't have been!" i pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes, groaning at the pain in my heart.

mom wrapped her arms around my shoulders and pulled me into a hug that i quickly accepted. being in her arms made me feel like i was a little girl again, crying over something small.

"it's all going to be okay, honey. i promise." she whispered, stroking my hair. i nodded even though i didn't believe her one bit.

"i just want her to be okay, mommy. i need her to be okay."

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short chap but it's okay bc it's a double update 💅

i love you all so so so much <3

again, pls don't hate me!