𝐂𝐑𝐘ᵃʳⁱᵃⁿᵃ ᵍʳᵃⁿᵈᵉ

seventeen

i softly shut the door to y/n's and my bedroom. we had just put the twins down for bed, which took some time because y/n was extremely reluctant to put them down and leave the room.

when i turned around, y/n was standing right behind me. she opened her arms to me and i fell into them, wrapping myself around her in our hundredth hug of the day.

my hands ran up and down her back, and this time i was aware of how her spine stuck out. luckily, y/n had scarfed down five tacos and a shit ton of salsa at dinner, so i knew that it would be pretty easy for her to gain back weight.

she pulled away slowly, like she didn't want to. "i think i'm going to shower. i feel like i smell like that place." y/n laughed humorlessly, dragging her feet over to the closet. she was clearly tired after the long day.

she gathered a change of clothes and walked to the bathroom, leaving a small crack in the door. i got my own clothes ready for bed, listening to the soft sound of her dirty clothes hitting the floor.

the water cranked on and i sat on the bed, not sure what to do. we've gone through this routine a million times before, but after two months of being by myself, i feel a little awkward.

"a-ari?" y/n's small voice broke me out of my thoughts.

i jumped up from the bed, leaning against the wall by the bathroom. "yes, baby?"

"will...will you come in with me? i don't want to be by myself." her voice was nervous and shaky, almost like she was afraid i'd say no.

"of course, baby. do you want me to shower with you or just sit in with you?" i asked, grabbing my change of clothes from the bed. i walked back to the door, ready to push it open all the way, but y/n's grip stopped me.

"wait! uh, i-i look really different, ari. i don't look...good. just please don't say anything bad, okay? don't look too much," y/n spoke, her words breaking my heart into a million little pieces.

"o-okay, baby. can i come in?" i asked softly, pressing my palm against the door.

"yeah," she said quickly, her feet padding away from the door. i slowly opened the door and walked in, seeing that she had gotten into the shower quickly.

i stripped slowly, listening to the sound of the water as i did. i took off my ring and placed it on the counter right beside hers.

"i'm coming in, okay?"

"...'kay."

i slowly opened the frosted door to the shower and stepped in. her back was to me, and i tried to keep in my gasp at the sight of her back. her clothes did a good job at covering how skinny she truly was.

her spine stuck out from the rest of her body, looking like hills down the middle of her back. she just looked so frail. if someone gave her a light shove, she'd break all of her bones.

when i looked up, she was looking at me over her shoulder, a frown on her lips. i felt ashamed that she had caught me staring after she asked me not to.

"y/n..." i whispered, but she shook her head, cutting me off.

"it's fine. i know. it's hard not to look." she turned back around, hung her head between her shoulders.

i sighed deeply, feeling my heart ache in my chest. "baby. baby, look at me." i grabbed her hips, cringing at the feeling of her bones under my hands.

y/n turned, her lips screwed to the side as her eyes shone. i grabbed her face gently, turning her head and making her look at me.

"i love you so fucking much. so much. and you are so fucking beautiful, do you hear me? you went through hell, y/n. but i know that you're going to bounce back, just like that," i snapped my fingers, tangling my other hand in her wet hair.