The Way I Loved You || manjiro sano - yandere au

chapter twenty two

NEVER IN YOUR LIFE, have you been so scared of Mikey as you were now. Only the thin shelter of the wooden door separated you from his desperate attempts to soothe you.

"(Name)?" Mikey calls out softly, careful not to raise his voice again fearing it would only distraught you further. The rattle of the doorknob was audible as he tried to push it open once again.

Pulling your legs closer to your chest, you used your hands to cover your ears but proved futile as Manjiro's ceaseless knocking and coos grow more desolate.

"Please talk to me. I'm sorry, I need to talk to you. Please? I- I made breakfast for you. It's almost lunch... please eat something."

The room was unbearably hot but you couldn't find the strength to turn on the ac due to your legs growing numb after holding the same fetal position for more than two hours. The smell of smoke and burnt was present, strong and suffocating as it began.

There were still faint remnants of smoke in the enclosed space, further adding to your discomfort.

Your tears had stopped long ago yet you still felt like crying with all the pent-up emotions inside you. While you contemplate, you couldn't fully discern your situation because of your overwhelming uncertainty and feelings.

Betrayal was evident from how Mikey burned your valued memories in front of you. He let you watch as he burned the last thing Baji left for you without so much remorse for what he did.

Anger because Mikey hadn't given you a chance to explain your side, spitting out assumptions and you don't understand how he put you on as a traitor who sided with Izana out of all people.

But pushing past those negative emotions, there was one thing you couldn't bring yourself to put on Mikey. That was hatred.

Hatred was a profound word to use as every reason for its use always had something equally cruel. People use it to fill their loathing against another and it would only drive them into a deeper fit of hate that they would carry like a heavy burden.

So after all these things you learned about Mikey, all the things that happened today, and all the things he had said out of spite, why didnt you feel an ounce of hatred towards him?

Perhaps it was your history together. How you learned to look past his wrongdoings. But that wasn't the case this time because you fully came to face with the current matters. You opened your eyes and saw that what occurred wasn't at all normal or pushed aside so easily.

Again, you contemplate your rationality. You don't hate Mikey or simply dislike him. It's difficult for you to feel that way against him when he's outside, desperately calling out to you as if he didn't have an outburst.

Another reason, you noted, was because of fear.

Has it always been this way? With the time you had for yourself, you took it as a chance to look back to your past decisions and experiences that brought you here today.

Were you so easily influenced that you learned to ignore all his wrongdoings? The things you found out about him from other people and through your eyes that you easily brush passed because, at the end of the day, Mikey made it seem like the most typical thing to do.

Or was it the fact that you were deeply infatuated with him that you were willing to ignore all the red flags you've been put through?

Again, has it always been this way?

You weren't always so afraid of Mikey. In your eyes, he was your childhood friend who kept his childish nature to irritate you from time to time and spoil you with nothing but his attention and admiration. But thinking back to what happened today was like an eye-opener.