Happyily ever after?

Chapter 18

Potter: It's been 4 days since we started exchanging notes.
Another letter lays in my hand. Another smile on my lips.
He's sooo adorable & funny.
I put the note to the others i collected in my drawer and start writing:
„lmfao. Stoppp. Har is NOT  a cute nickname. You won't find a good nickname for me. Hermione has been searching for one since forever. For Harry Potter it's just difficult to come up with something. Let's talk about you, tho. Dray sounds sweet doesn't it? Or just D? Anyway how was your lunch? How's Flaky?"
Flaky leaves.
I wish I could actually talk to him.
Flaky comes back.
„Har does sound bad. But so does D. Wtf. I'm sure you wouldn't be able to say that without laughing. I couldn't. Lunch was 10/10. Flaky is alwaaays so excited when he comes back from your room. Sometimes I think he likes you more than me. the AUDACITY. hehehe. How's your day going? Any plans for the evening?"
A spark of hope kindles in my chest.
Any plans for the evening?
„No, not yet. What about you?"
My heart beat rises drastically.
Is this what I think it is.
I don't dare to hope. I wouldn't be able to deal with the disappointment afterwards.
„Funny question, Harry. I haven't even left my room to shower. I don't plan to. What should I have to do? There's not much to do for me - alone in my room."
Should I risk it?
I don't want to ruin this. He's let me come so close to him.
I put it vaguely.
„You could have company, yk."
My hands are sweaty as I hand Flaky the letter. Nervous I bite my lip begging the universe or gods or whatever.
Please don't let it be ruined.
I don't regret it, tho. The tiny chance of being able to see him again makes everything worth it.
The response takes longer than usual. With every minute that goes, my heart beat goes faster.
Malfoy: "You could have company, yk."
Is he suggesting to come over...?
My checks flush with the pure thought of him being here.
I haven't showered in weeks, my hair is oily. I also skipped brushing my teeth A LOT, I probably don't smell acceptable.
I'm still in the clothes from that day. My room' s a mess.
I am.
I feel disgusting.
He shouldn't see me like this. He wouldn't want me like this.
Yet I can't find the energy to stand up and get ready. My shame fills the room up until I can't breath.
I just wanna lay in bed...
with him.
A tear finds it's way down my face.
"I do like you a lot" That's what he said.
He's seen me in pretty bad states. Crying in the corridor. Breaking down in the bathroom. Doubting everything on that bridge. But this is another level. I'm literally repulsive right now.
My body aches for his.
"I don't look so good rn. Yk I haven't really left my room."
I stare at the note.
I don't want him to think I don't want him here. Because I'd love him here - around me.
"This isn't a beauty contest. I just wanna spend time with you. I don't care what you look like, what your room looks like or that you haven't showered in long. Ik you're struggling right now. I want to be there for you. As long as you are comfortable I'm happy to be around you - no matter what you' re like."
A soft smile warmth my face.
Does he mean it tho?
I read again.
He does.
"Oki"
Flaky leaves.
knock.