Happyily ever after?

Chapter 14

Potter: I walk into the room finding Draco on the floor. He broke down in the right coner of the bathroom. He's sobbing loud while covering his face with his hands. I freeze. 

I did that to him.

I bite my lip with guilt.

"Draco...I'm..." He startles and looks up. His face is smeared with tears and blood. And only now I notice the fresh cut on his left arms and the old ones. The blood is running over his dark mark. 

Shit. 

I come closer. "I'm sorry." He crawls back to the wall. I stop. "I...I saw you wanted to make the infinita amor and I....I was concerned it could be used to manipulated people. I saw you...you met people in the middle of the night on that bridge." I look to the ground ashamed. "I'm truly sorry, Draco. really. I should have asked you about it and not make conclusions." I go silent. It feels like every single word makes it worse. After a while:

"I trusted you." His voice is quiet and soak with sadness. "I opened up and all you saw was a Death Eater." "NO" I jump up. "You were the only one who - I thought-  saw me as me. I thought you belived me." 

"I do. I do." I sit down infront of him. "Draco." He startles when I say his first name. My tears find their way down my face. "I belive you. I know you're not a bad person. You're not a Death Eater." He shakes his head and sniffs. He stands up. "No. Potter, I'm sorry." 

"Potter"? My heart aches.

 "I should have never trusted you." He laughs sacastatly. "My fault." After one last broken gaze he leaves. "Draco" He just keeps walking. "I'm sorry. Please don't leave. I want to make it up. Tell me how?" He stopps without turning. "You want to know why I'm brewing infinita amor? Why I was on that bridge?" I'm quiet with curiosity. Eventhough I know I shouldn't. 

I shouldn't care.

"I make it for myself" long pause. I can't do anything but stare at the floor. The shame eats away at me 

"so that I can love myself." My heart breaks. 

"Because my life has been a shitshow. The only thing I wanted was to be able to live with myself. But I couldn't." His voice breaks. There's a lump in the throat.

"That's why I was on that bridge." He adds with a voice that makes me bite my lip bloody.

I fall to the floor. "Draco, I'm sorry. I...I don-" 

"STOP." He's screaming. 

"DON'T CALL ME "DRACO" LIKE I MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU. LIKE WE MEAN SOMEHTING TO EACH OTHER. LIKE YOU CARE." He's getting louder and louder.

I do care.

I can hear him sobbing. "Don't call me Draco EVER again." Then he leaves. And I'm alone. Also sobbing but on the floor with my hands in my face trying to stop the waterfall of tears. It's not working. I feel even more guilty for crying when I  am the one hurting him.

I need to make it right.

I need to make it right. 

I need to make it right.

How do I fix it?

I need to fix it.

I can not. I can not take it back. I can not undo it.

I need to.