In the Shadows of Romance/Sebastian Sallow x MC

Chapter One (Redone:July 2, 2023)

Secrets, that's what started my sixth year of Hogwarts and a lot had changed over the summer break. Icarus, Ominis, and I had started our search for Sebastian before the year had ended though it was hard when we worried about our studies. It wasn't until summer break came along did we search day and night but we had given up shortly after the start of the new year. I had hoped for the first few weeks of the new year he would come back, that he'd walk into one of my classes and be the witty, sassy Slytherin I had always loved. I had expected to find him in the undercroft pacing over something vexing him or waiting for me with a wide smile on his face. I wanted to tell him the secret I had been hiding weeks after he left. And I wanted to tell him that as unexpected as it may be, he was to be a father. The fifth year hadn't even come fully to an end when I had discovered that I was pregnant and was now due Halloween. I wanted to find him and tell him of our child to come, to yell at him for leaving me but most of all I wanted him home to hold him and tell him to never leave me again.

It never happened.

Just like any other day, I reluctantly went to a class he should have been in with me. I loved herbology and he should have been right there beside me whispering about whatever magical plant we were learning about at the time. He should have been there by my side, giving me the wrong impression with his helpless flirtation or actual flirting if he and I would have established a relationship after our night in the undercroft. Regardless she should be a flirting mess making Icarus' glare daggers as the Slytherin from across the tables. But Sebastian was gone and I was missing him dearly.

"Ms. Gray." Professor Garlick's voice was a soft whim as she stepped beside me. "Are you with us today?"

I looked up from staring at Sebastian's empty potting table, even the teachers had hoped for his return. "Hm? Oh, um, yes ma'am. I just don't believe I feel like myself today. I may be coming down with something."

One of my hands snaked down to gently rub against my stomach; after telling Ominis and my brother, I had counseled with the professors. Together we had found a spell that would keep my pregnancy a secret and had come up with secret phrases for me to use in class if I ever needed to step out due to ill feelings created by the pregnancy. Me telling Professor Garlic that I was coming down with something was one of those phrases.

She looked me over before calling to my brother, one of the only other people who knew my contention, the man's head shooting up from the table across from us. "Mr. Grey, would you mind assisting your sister to the hospital wing. I believe she may need to be seen."

I held up my hand just as my brother started to move, a gesture to stop the conversation where it was at and my brother in his tracks. "This is not necessary, Professor, I wish not to take my brother from his studies. Truly, I am well enough to make it there on my own."

She gave me a sad smile, nodded as she caught my wishful glances toward Sebastian's old potting station. Along with the news of my pregnancy, the professors had been notified of who the father was and his disappearance. "Please do get well, Ms. Grey."

"Thank you." I smiled weakly in return as I moved, slipping out of the classroom and finding myself wandering the halls far from the hospital wing. I hadn't paid any mind to my surroundings, though that was until I was stepping mindlessly into the undercroft. It was yet another place that reminded me of Sebastian and what we had created.

I sighed heavily, pushing my way further into the room. It was like I was hoping to find him here, curled up with a book reading while skipping class, but I knew better than to wish for something so simple. He was gone, I wouldn't find him anywhere. Not now and most likely not in the near future. But with that thought in mind, I curled up in the cozy little spot I had left behind after our night together. Had he been writing one of his rubbish goodbye letters to me when I had found him? Had he been writing to Anne? I didn't bother thinking of it more as I curled up in the mess left behind.