In the Shadows of Romance/Sebastian Sallow x MC

Chapter Seventeen

While looking for a cure for Anne, Sebastian had stumbled upon a book in the restricted section of the library that had stated twins could share magic. He had read the book cover to cover in hopes of being able to help his sister but to his avail it hadn't worked, but it now served as our starting point for the ancient magic transfer. He wanted to read up on it once more, take notes and try an experimental test run.

It had been a week since the event of my breakdown on Halloween and though Sebastian had told us of this book that same night, he had yet to come to us with anything new. In fact since my breakdown and his knowledge of Christopher surfacing, I hadn't seen him much. He had locked himself away in the library. Any time I managed to catch a glimpse of him, he would have stacks of books surrounding him but he never acknowledged my presence. There were times I would find myself sitting with him to study for my classes, but he wouldn't spare me a glance much like he was doing now.

"Sebastian." I breathed. "Have you studied at all for your classes?"

I looked up to find him nodding in response, though no words left his lips. A frown had found my lips as he continued reading the book before him. What was with him today?

"Seb," I spoke in a soft tone so as to not upset the ambiance of the library. "What's going on with you today? Usually you're quite vocal."

He finally looked up at me, eyes hard at first and then they were softening. He took a minute to process the world around him, eyes darting around before he sighed heavily and spoke. "I've just thrown myself into researching this for you and your brother. I don't mean to ignore you."

"We haven't really talked about what happened?" I looked down.

"We don't have to talk about anything, Love." He told me in a hushed voice. "What happened, happened and I don't want to ever see you like that again."

"Not about me panicking, Seb." I cocked my head to the side. "I was talking about..." I couldn't bring myself to speak as I found a lump forming in my throat. "Our son."

He was silent for a long moment before letting out another sigh. "I don't think that'd be a good idea right now. I'm trying to figure out how I'm feeling and I don't want to overstep your emotions."

"That's the thing, Sebastian, I want to be able to talk about everything with you." I reached across the table attempting to place a hand on his own but he pulled away. Hurt filled my face as I retracted my hand from him. "I just want you to know what happened to him and I want you to be able to feel your own emotions with it."

He shook his head. "Love, let me figure out my emotions right now. I promise I will talk when I'm ready, but right now I really do just need some time. I walked out on you and our son and I'm angry I did so. I'm battling my inner demons over the idea of if I'm actually allowed to mourn him."

"But-"

"Don't, please." He sighed. "I just need time."

I nodded. "Am I still free to sit with you, or would you like for me to leave?"

He shook his head. "Don't leave me."

That was the first and last time he acknowledged me over our studying in the library together and we had moved past week two and three. Each time I came to sit with him, I found myself waiting for Sebastian to speak with me first. Sometimes he would, though mostly about what he had been researching. Other times we sat together it was a peaceful silence. There were times I was sitting across from him and other times he and I sat shoulder to shoulder while reading over our books, barely saying a word to one another. By the end of week two I had asked Sebastian if I could invite Natty or Poppy to our little quiet space, he had nodded and had remained to himself while the two or three of us studied together in silence.

Poppy had once tried striking up a conversation with Sebastian, though the man had just looked at her and shook his head as a way to end the conversation. She came to me later that night in search of answers but I had very little to give her. He was beginning to act differently even toward me and I wasn't sure if it was entirely to do with our late son.

By the start of week four, the castle was buzzing about what December was going to bring us. The Yule Ball, the break to follow, Christmas, everyone was excited. The Yule ball was a week and a day before Christmas. This year it was on a friday, signifying our last day of the semester before we left for our homes to celebrate the holiday. Though it was two days before the new month, that didn't stop what laid ahead of us. It didn't stop me from picturing my night of the upcoming Yule ball, though my suitor began to vary between Ominis, my boyfriend, and Sebastian, an old flame.

Week four, Sebastian was becoming more distant and there were times I had gone to my study spot to go meet with him, but he was never there. It was where I found myself currently, walking into the library in hopes of seeing the man of the hour. He and Ominis stood outside the library chatting, but it didn't look like a friendly chat. They looked angry and by judging from Sebastian's own expression it was something involving himself. I hung back, unable to hear their arguing but watching, Sebastian was the angriest as he pointed fingers at Ominis, one of which being gabbed into Ominis chest. And then just like that the conversation was over, Sebastian stalking back into the library while Ominis stood behind with his fists balled.

"Omi," I called as I pushed myself forward, meeting Ominis just as the library doors closed behind Sebastian. "What's going on?"

His back was to me a moment longer before he turned to meet me, a smile on his face as if he hadn't been arguing moments ago. "Nothing, darling. Why don't you and I take a trip to Hogsmeade, it's been a while since you and I have gone out together. Care to take a trip with me?"

Though I was curious as to the fight, I nodded. "Yes,"

I felt him reach for and grab onto my hand fully, that smile never leaving his face as he brought us into a walk. It was silent between the two of us as we navigated the castle, leaving through the front gates and into the cool evening.

"Echo," Ominis started. "Will you be honest with me?"

"I always am." I told him softly.

He sighed softly, nodding before speaking again. "I know you are, but as of late I have lost faith in myself. In us. I feel as if the two of us have been drifting apart as of late and I put no blame on either of us and all the blame in the world. I blame myself for not being around in the last few weeks, and I try not to blame you for the same. But what I'm trying to say is this: your emotions for Sebastian, are they something I should worry about in our relationship."

I didn't know what to say, it was all so sudden and fast. This wasn't what I had thought the two of us would be talking about on our walk to Hogsmeade, but then I noticed we weren't walking to Hogsmeade because we were just walking the grounds of Hogwarts.

"I still love him." I answered honestly. "And I'm finding myself picturing him as my date to the Yule ball, but I'm also picturing you as well. I find myself pulling more to him and after Halloween, I've felt an even stronger pull. He was there for me in regards to our son and he cried with me, but I'm scared to acknowledge those feelings. I don't want to end what you and I have on the potential feelings I can't seem to get past."

"You love him," Ominis repeated. "It means you still view him as a potential partner regardless if your mind tells you it may not be wise. And if I'm being honest myself, I've pulled myself away from you because of what happened on Halloween. I don't wish to stand in your way of each other."

"Omi," I breathed.

"No, I have to get this off my chest." He spoke. "I've found myself being drawn to someone else and I've found myself seeking her company. She has been someone who I've known for years and had felt something for before I had met you, but... Anne got sick and I hadn't really seen her for a year. I thought I lost feelings for her when I gained those for you, but I feel as if you and I share a fate. We both love a Sallow and I know our hearts are pulling us in their direction."

I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder as we walked. "I guess this is the end of us. I'm free to pursue a relationship with Sebastian and you with Anne?"

He nodded. "Yes, though that will not stop me from loving you. I just feel that love has changed."

"And I will always love you." I smiled as I felt tears stream down my face.