The Magnate's Holiest Sin (Cavanaugh #3)

Kabanata 44

Mature Content Warning. This chapter may contain content of an adult nature. If you are easily offended and too sensitive or are under the age of eighteen, leave the chapter immediately, or just ignore and skip some scenes. Some words within are intended for adults only and may include scenes of sexual content, strong languages, violence etc. that aren't suitable for young readers.

Kabanata 44

Unholy

Expectations would bring disappointment. Assuming less is akin to little upset.

Just because it has been a month that I felt physically alright, too fine, and incredibly good, does not mean that I was completely healthy in the inside. The symptoms were still there, I knew that. All through its absence the whole week, a month ever since I arrived here, I did not feel any signs of illness nor suffer from it.

Yet that would not make me believe that I did not have pleural mesothelioma. False hope was ruinous. My fate was indestructible and inalterable which was accompanied by the allegiance of steadfast death. It was what it was.

I had to forbid him to love me. It felt wrong and unjust.

Presently, I took a sip on the glass of my iced pineapple juice and placed it down on the bar counter. I ignored the loud and earsplitting music of the lively club. As well as the blinding disco and neon lights everywhere. Overlooking at the crowd on the dance floor that were dancing to the pop rhythm of the song, I scorned. They were swaying their hips and grinding their body on someone random they did not know who.

Returning my attention to the man beside me in this corner of the bar counter, I scoffed. Snorting at him in fake contempt. "Kung iniisip mo'ng gusto ko na ulit na mapalapit sa'yo pagkatapos ng nangyari noong gabing 'yon ng selebrasyon para sa Ruki Brands International Corporation. . . nagkakamali ka."

When was I going to admit it to him that I was the one who was wrong all along? I wanted to be with him. I craved for him. Thirst for his scent. Longing for his touch. No. Never. I would bring it, bury it with me to my own grave.

"Puwede ka namang dumistansya sa'kin, cherub. 'Wag mo na lang akong damayin, okay? Kasi ako, hindi ako didistansya sa'yo," was his casual protest. "Limang taon tayong nagkahiwalay, dagdagan pa ng ilang buwan pagkatapos no'n. Hindi pa ba sapat na distansiya 'yon?"

I snapped a look at him, triggered at his behaviour. "What happened in that hotel room was a mistake, Laki."

"No, it's not. You've given me the consent to do it. You submit to me, and so did I to you."

"'Yan nga 'yong mali! Mali ang pinayagan kita! Mali ang hinayaan ko pa'ng umabot sa gano'n!" I snarled at him.

Sa banda'ng 'to ng club ay iilan lamang ang mga tao. Medyo malayo-layo rin sa dance floor kaya ay hindi na namin kailangan pa'ng magbulungan o sigawan kapag nag-uusap dahil sa malakas na tugtog. Nasa kabilang banda naman 'yong bartender at may inaasikaso pang drinks dahilan kung bakit libre akong magbitaw ng mga salita.

How I wished to turn back time. If only I did not push him to talk to me, I would not be crazy to allow him to touch me and urge him to make love with me.

Nasimulan na ulit. What was I supposed to do now? I had let myself be slaved by temptation. Tonight, I had to deal with it. Hindi ko kasi siya matiis. Ang hirap. Sobra'ng hirap.

It was clear. I already told him that I did not want us back. I had my reason to. He was about to give up that night. Turn away and abandon his feelings for me. He was almost there. Accepting that I would not be coming back in his life. It was supposed to be our last. Only to have his determination awakened again. . . by me, myself? I pulled the trigger of arousal. What have I done? I was so dumb.