The Magnate's Holiest Sin (Cavanaugh #3)

Kabanata 38

Kabanata 38

Attack

"H-Hindi ako naniniwala. Hindi kita paniniwalaan," I said through my stuttering voice as his sharp gaze had turned colder every second.

"Bakit, Holy? Are you that crazy in love with him that you will choose to be stuck in an illusion of you and him, only? Oh come on, girl! This is Laki Cavanaugh! Do you think that a man as gorgeous, successful, and wealthy as him will settle for one woman?"

Nakagat ko ang labi nang matigil ito sa panginginig. Iba'ng iba si Pat sa babaeng nakilala ko noon dito. Baka ay ganito na talaga siya? Hindi ko lang napapansin dahil masyado'ng ukupado ang utak ko sa panahong 'yon, lahat tungkol kay Laki? How could I notice? When I was drowned by his intense waves of stares that first night I spent my time here trying to chill from the bunch of works he had given and assigned to me.

Everything happened all of a sudden. I did not see it coming. We were just fine before, and then one morning, I found him nowhere in my condominium? His absence there, he left without even telling me where he would go? Only to be caught in a hospital? We were all good that night we made love in that old house of us where we resided years ago.

Tonight, he was treating me like a trash. A garbage that he should discard. Dump me? Drop me? Throw me away? Push me away? He was talking to me as if he was a priest and I was an evil spirit he overmuch wanted to exorcize. That he badly coveted me gone. How different he was before and tonight.

Never did I see him looked at me like this. It was so unlike him. Our first argument in my room, at my condo, was better than this. It doesn't count. That day, I could sense that he was pretending.

At present, I was senseless. I was insentient. I could not feel it. He was not playacting. Not even disguising or concealing his emotion. Could I just camouflage myself on the floor? I could not face this. Not again.

Whenever he would see me, his eyes used to submit to me. Honored and respected me. Cherishing me. I was an angel to him. His angel, and I assumed why he had always called me 'cherub'. Though I did not hear him say to me those exact words, that he love me, I already felt it. It was not mixed signals. I was so sure of it. He already said and express that he loves me without actually saying it.

I could now differentiate how he was behaving every time that he's with me, and whenever he was not. It was visible to me now that I was a grown woman.

Naive and dumb. Funny, the young me was like that. I was not that observant or was it because I normalized it? That him being kind and generous to me was merely natural. Presuming that he was only caring to me because he was close friends with my Kuya King.

Realization pitched in. It was not the way I thought. All this time, I had thought wrong about his real intentions. Misjudged his feelings. Undervalued him when he overvalued me. The young me had placed him as the least, whilst I was his most.

He loves me. I knew he do.

But seeing him as the man who was scornfully glowering at me at the moment, made me doubt the fruition on my mind. However, I was not distrusting myself of knowing and believing that he loves me.

My heart was compelling me to hold onto it. To the point that if I needed to grapple him to stay with me, I would. It was just my head who was thwarting me. I was slowly mistrusting my mind because of the silent rudeness and uttermost insensitivity I was receiving from him, and questioning his love for me was unintentional.

Sigurado kasi ako na mahal niya ako noon. He would not try to pursue me now if he had lost his feelings for me through those years, correct? Hanggang ngayon, alam kong may nararadaman pa rin siya sa akin. Pinipigilan niya lang dahil sa mga pangyayari.