The Magnate's Holiest Sin (Cavanaugh #3)

Kabanata 7

Kabanata 7

Hesitations

What was I thinking? Why did I agree with Laki's offer to help me fight against this phobia? He's been with various woman before, bedded them. There would be a chance that he was suffering from a disease or illness. The result from having sexual intercourse with multiple and possibly unhealthy women.

A mistake. It was a mistake.

It would be enough for me to trust him with my life by living with him in just two months.

But agreeing and accepting his offer? His proposal? He went too far. I should not have trusted him in the first place. Absentmindedly, I told myself that I should have thought about it regarding my situation for days before coming up with a reasonable decision.

Completely awaken from the possibilities and probabilities that Laki was just offering help in order for him to get under my skirt. I decided to talk to him later this evening.

I was adamant to cancel, stop, put to end this delirium of a deal I was making with him.

Must stop this before it even get worse.

Naalala ko na naman tuloy ang pangalan ng babaeng tinutukoy nila Ate Balm at Ate Dakota noong nakaraang araw na nasa food court kami ng SM City Manila.

Francesca.

The name sounded angelic and beautiful in my ears. I wonder what kind of woman was Francesca? What did Laki see in her that other women don't have?

I was getting really hooked about the happenings, and I thought about it as a bad sign. I should not give a single or a small, infinitesimal concern about it.

Pero ang hirap kasi pigilan. Sa kabila ng lahat ng nalaman ko ay parang gusto ko na lang layuan si Laki.

Laki reminded me of my father. I was starting to feel scared toward him.

The thought of him having the possibilities that he may have a disease could not be removed from my mind. It felt like, it was permanently glued on the front corner of my brain and that even performing a surgery to take it out would be useless.

Restlessly pondering, and now I could absolutely compare myself to those crackheads, paranoids and weirdos. So much of overthinking that I would probably ended up be one of those aforementioned types of person.

In the name of the truth about this phobia that I had. This fear might be the reason that my brother would be forced to throw me in a mental hospital.

Feeling my hands starting to feel cold and sweaty. I gripped the phone that I was currently holding, facing the camera right directly to my face.

Hindi ko namalayan na kanina pa pala nagsasalita si Kuya King mula sa kabilang linya.

We were talking a minute ago via Messenger call. Nakita ko lang nag open pala siya ng camera.

"Kuya, can I at least work here?" sabi ko nang nakabawi mula sa mga negatibo'ng pumapasok sa isip ko.

I tapped on the phone's screen to open my camera.

From looking on the screen, I could clearly see Kuya King. He was sitting on his usual office chair, and the background was as the same as the first time we had a video call. A plain wait curtain.

"Why, baby?" asked Kuya King. He was busy typing on his laptop's keyboard, and still managed to listen to me, giving me attention. "Dalawang linggo na lang sahod ko na, magpapadala na ako riyan."

Palipat-lipat ang paningin ni Kuya King sa laptop at sa phone niya. Abala pa rin sa kaniyang ginagawa.

"I don't wanna feel useless and a burden to you, Kuya," I said. Trying to convince him. "I wanna earn money for myself."