The Magnate's Holiest Sin (Cavanaugh #3)

Kabanata 39

Kabanata 39

Mesothelioma

"C-Cherub. . ."

Nagpatuloy ito sa paghalik sa aking paa at kahit ano'ng atras ko o bawi ko ay hahabulin pa rin ng kaniyang malalambot at mamasa-masang mga labi ito. I tried to back away from him with this position but to no avail, he could still touch me. Behind me was the hard ang cold wall. I had no where to move backward. Not even sideward since I placed myself in a narrow corner between my wardrobe and the wall.

All in all, I was cornered, or perhaps, caged. In both sides, at the back, and including the front, where Laki was crying, kneeling and kissing the top part of my feet.

Fainthearted, I was shrinking. I felt nothing but anxiety. Anxious, nervous, panicky, and uneasy. His presence, I could not stand it. Could not take it. It was too much for me.

All that I thought about were the possibilities that he might. . . hurt me again. Not physically, but through his sharp words.

I could not risk myself bleeding again, and with my heart throbbing caused by him. If only I could stand right now, without these wobbling legs and melting knees, I should have gone out of this room. Probably push this man out of the way. Whether he would let me leave or not, I would rather still bring myself somewhere isolated and deserted than remain here. . . with him. I just could not.

Somehow, an unexpected thought crossed my mind. Yes, I never thought that the idea of leaving him would touch my brain. Now, it was caressing my soul. Telling me that the only way I would claim my peace was to take my exit. Abandon him, like how he easily did it to me.

As I was trembling uncontrollably, I withdrew from his every, warm and careful touch. Unsteady, although I was sitting with my head and face down on my quaking knees. Him, in front of me, made me feel unsafe.

Humorous how I felt so sheltered and shielded by him, safe and secure with him before, when at the moment, he was also the one who endangered and depreciated me. He was one of those men who were lethal and fatal to women.

"F-F*ck. . ." I heard him swore through his shaking baritone voice.

Pilit ko na naman kasing nilalayo ang sariling mga paa mula sa kaniya. Kahit na marahan naman ang kaniyang paraan ng pagkakahawak sa akin ay hindi ko talaga masikmura na mahawakan niya ako. My guts, instincts, impulses, needs and urges were caterwauling at me in unison. Screaming and warning me from danger. Asking and begging me to find a place to hide. I was not going insane yet, was I? I was just awfully scared.

That was all, right? I was not crazy. This was anxiety. I was not out of my mind. And I was morally overprotective with myself.

I did not know what to do anymore. What exactly I would have to do in times like this. Because the truth was I did not expect him to show himself here after all he did and said to me. How to deal and face this? I had not done any preparations for this. It was worse than I thought.

"G-Go. . ." My voice was as thin as the air. I was uncertain that he could hear it. "A-Away. . ."

Pinanatili ko ang ulo na nakayuko. Ayaw kong makita ito o hindi kaya'y makasalubong mga mga mapupungay at nagsusumamong mga mata nito. I could sense that he was as afraid as me. His fear was also coating me.

"I-I'm leaving. That's why I'm here. I want to explain everything before leaving the country-"

Humigpit ang pagkakayakap ko sa aking mga tuhod. "I-I don't want to hear anything from you!"

Supposedly, it was a shout but it came out of my mouth as my normal tone of voice. I tried to talk as loud as possible. However, my inhalations were making it impossible. I was having problem on making my breathing even and normal. Because of it, I could hardly speak.