72 hours

Confession

Monday 11am
I woke up to Billie trying to carefully get out of bed without waking me up. I watched as she carefully and quietly closed the door. I couldn't help but smile, remembering sleeping at her house the night we met.

I rolled over and faced the wall, hoping Billie wouldn't catch me smiling when she came back. I closed my eyes trying to fall back asleep. The door opened and closed a little bit louder than when she left.

"Aliyah, wake up!" Jess quietly yelled as she shook my body.

"Ugh, what," i groaned and turned around towards her.

"What happened between you guys last night? You never came back," she sat down next to me with the biggest smile on her face.

"Nothing happened," I stared at her.

"Cmon, there's no way nothing happened. I saw Billie when she left the room and she had the biggest smile on her face. Did you guys kiss? Fuck? Did she ask you out? Did you-"

"No, nothing happened at all. I fell asleep like five minutes after we came in here. That's about it" I cut her off and she stared at me studying my face.

"Hm okay. Well I better go before billie comes back. We'll leave in a couple hours," I just nodded and she stood up. Right when she reached for the doorknob it opened, revealing Billie on the other side.

"Oh, hi," Jess finally spoke up after a minute of awkward silence.

"You guys okay?" I couldn't see Billie because Jess was in the way, but she sounded concerned.

"Yeah, we're good I came to check up on her," I saw billie step to the side letting Jess pass. Billie walked in closing the door behind her, and laid next to me so we were now facing each other.

"You doing okay love?" She placed her hand on my cheek stroking it with her thumb.

"Mhm," I couldn't help but smile melting at her touch and I could feel my whole face go red.

"Can I tell you something?" She didn't stop her movements but I noticed her starting to get nervous.

"Anything," I kept a smile on my face never breaking eye contact.

"I think you're beautiful. I like it when you smile because your face lights up, and your eyes have this certain look in them. Like happiness mixed with hope. I like when you're focused on something, because your eyebrows furrow a little bit and you purse your lips. I like it when I'm able to make you blush, because it also comes with your smile. I like your eyes and I'm always getting lost in them. Even though they're a light brown, when the sun hits them and i'm standing close enough there's different strokes of a lighter brown scattered around them. Whenever you look at me, it's hard to not stare at them for hours. When we met, I felt a sort of comfort with you right away, almost as if we've known each other for awhile, and I'm sorry if any of this was weird but it's true," she had a smile on her face and she looked sort of relieved, but I could tell she was still a little bit nervous.

"Billie," I was smiling at what she just told me, but I didn't know what to tell her. My smile slowly started fading as I got lost in my thoughts. I wanted to tell her about how she makes me smile, and how I feel comfortable with her, but I couldn't. I couldn't lead her on. I'm starting to get attached to her when I shouldn't be.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," Billie brought me back to reality.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go," I jumped up and quickly rushed out the door. I found Jess in the living room sitting on the couch alone.

"We gotta go. Please," I quickly said as I rushed to the front door.

She didn't say anything, but I could hear her quickly get up and grab her keys. I walked as quickly as I could to the car. Even though she was parked right in front, I wanted to leave as fast as possible. She unlocked the car, and I quickly got in and put my seatbelt on. Jess got in shortly after me.

"Dude what happened? Should I go kick her ass?" She sounded concerned but angry at the same time.

"Can we please just leave," I stared at my lap with tears in my eyes trying my best to hold them back. I could see Jess nod her head from the corner of my eye, putting the car in drive.

I didn't want to cry because I was sad. I wanted to cry because I felt upset. I was upset at myself, because I didn't tell Billie how I felt, but instead just ran out. I wish she came into my life sooner, so I had more time to be with her, but everything was too complicated now. So many thoughts ran through my mind, but at least now when I'm gone, she won't care and it won't hurt her.

35 hours