72 hours

It Wasn't Her

"Are you responsible for her?"

Yes, I'm the reason she's dead.

"Yes, why?" I said shyly, scared they were unable to save her.

"I'm gunna give it to you straight. We were barely able to save her this time, but she's very very unstable. It's not looking good, so if I were you, I'd go in there and tell her anything you want to say to her while she's still alive," he patted my shoulder in a comforting motion and got up, walking away as if nothing happened.

I stayed on the ground debating if I should see her or not. As much as I wanted to see her, I was scared. Even though i've already watched her slowly slip away, I wasn't ready to see her like this.

After a couple minutes, I decided to stand up but hesitant to turn towards her door. I knew that if I didn't see her and talk to her while she was still here, I'd regret it, and I already have enough regrets with her.

I looked at the floor, standing in her doorway and took a deep breath before looking up at her. Just like I saw earlier, she had a tube coming out of her mouth to help her breathe. What I didn't see though, were all the wires connected to her body, leading to several machines.

Even though she looked peaceful, it wasn't her. Even though the person laying in front of me looked like her, it wasn't. She wasn't alive anymore, just some lifeless body waiting for death to take over. Deep down I knew it was her, but I refused to believe that.

I became frozen. My feet were glued to the floor, and my body felt five times heavier. My breathing was shallow, slowly becoming more difficult to breathe. My heart was beating so hard out of my chest, I wouldn't be surprised if it flew out. Tears easily left my eyes while I stared at her. I didn't even realize I was crying, until I felt my tears started to slide down my chin, falling down my neck, and onto my shirt.

It wasn't her.

I grabbed a chair from the corner of the room and moved it closer to her bed. When I sat down, I scooted the chair up to be as close as possible to her, my legs slightly being crushed. I didn't care about squishing my legs, I needed to be as close as possible. I gently grabbed her hand interlacing our fingers, and her heart rate increased. I wasn't sure if I should let go or not, so I decided to be selfish and not let go.

I squeezed her hand three times to let her know everything was going to be okay, making her heart rate slow down, going back to normal. I smiled to myself knowing I was able to comfort her, which gave me enough confidence to speak up.

"Aliyah, I don't know if you can hear me, or even if you want to hear me, but I need to tell you this," I cleared my throat before continuing.

"I'm mad at you. I'm mad because you're leaving me alone, and I can't do this without you. You might not believe me, but you're the reason I smile, laugh, and feel better. You make it easier to escape my thoughts, no matter how bad they get," I took a deep breath, doing my best to hold back my tears.

"When we first met, there was just something about you that instantly made me feel better, almost like I've known you my whole life. I'm so glad Jess spoke for me when she introduced us. I was so distracted by you, I'm surprised I wasn't drooling. My first attempt at talking to you at that party will forever give me second hand embarrassment, because of how awkward I was, and I'm so sorry about that," I had a weak smile.

"I always tried my best to distract you. Whether it was something dumb to make you smile, like the night at the park, or because you needed someone, like when we laid on the cold floor after your nightmare," I cleared my throat again trying even harder to hold my tears back, my smile fading.

"At the cliff, I couldn't help but stare at you. You had a slight smile on your face, and the way the lights reflected off your eyes, you just seemed so peaceful. It was like your mind shut off and you were just soaking everything in, in awe of the unrealistic view. You were a completely different version of yourself, a happier one." I was zoned out remembering that moment before it all turned to shit.

"I know you're reaching out to try and hold hands with death, but I need you to pull your hand away and give life a second chance. Most people don't get another chance, so I need you to take advantage. You told me you were only gunna drag me down with you, but the only way that's gunna happen is if you let yourself go. Nothing will ever be the same without you. I'm not just saying it, I mean it," I squeezed her hand a little bit tighter.

"I wanna spend every day making you happy. I don't care how much effort it takes, it'll be so worth it when I see your smile and hear your laugh. I was so lost without you, but once I saw you, I felt different, slowly feeling complete once again. I don't want to be ripped apart again."

I took a deep breath and moved our hands so they were on the side of my face, leaning my head against the back of her hand. I let out a heavy sigh, feeling comfort from her touch.

"Please don't leave me, Aliyah. I'm so tired of being alone," I whispered. I gave up and let the tears quietly fall, doing my best to be as silent as possible so she wouldn't know I was crying. Ever since I met her, I refused to let her know how badly I was hurting.

I took a deep breath and left a long kiss on the back of her hand, before moving it back to the side of my face. I closed my eyes trying to relax as much as possible, unsure if this would be the last time I felt her touch.

After a few minutes, I let go of her hand, putting it back to the side of her body, and stood up. I pushed the stray hairs away from her face and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. I stayed there, just admiring her and gently stroked her cheek.

"I love you so much, Aliyah," I leaned back down and whispered. I kissed her forehead once again, a little bit longer this time, relaxing at her warmth against my lips.

The second I pulled away, her machine went off again. I looked over and saw the lines on the screen become flat, the noise ringing in my head.

"Ma'am we need you to move," a doctor broke me out of my trance and placed his hands on my shoulders to move me out of the way. I just stood there and stared at her, watching as she inched closer to death. No matter how far it escaped her, she ran towards it, desperately trying to leave me here alone.

"Can somebody come get her," the same doctor yelled out. Before I knew it, I felt someone place their arm on my back and led me out of the room. I leaned my back against the same wall from earlier and slid down.

Here I was, in the same position I was in about twenty minutes ago.

It wasn't her. She was going to be okay. I kept repeating in my head, while the beeping echoed in my head.

I wanted the beeping to stop and the doctors to come out and tell me she was going to be okay, but at the same time, I knew the longer the noise went on, the less of a chance she had at surviving.

The noise finally stopped and my whole world went dark.

—
Fun fact: When a person dies, they can still hear for up to thirty minutes after they pass away.

Next chapter you'll find out if she lives or dies.

Sorry for making y'all wait this long. I couldn't figure out how to end it but I finally figured it out and y'all are gunna hate me.