72 hours

I Never Wanna Let You Go

Monday 9:30pm
"Is there anywhere you had in mind?" Billie asked as she started the car, both of us putting on our seat belts.

"No," I rested my head against the car window.

Billie leaned back in her seat pausing for a minute before putting the car in drive. I turned over, watching her drive. Even though she was speeding down the freeway, I couldn't help but study her. The way her eyebrows furrowed, doing her best to concentrate, but looking so relaxed at the same time. Her left hand gripping the bottom of the wheel, and her right hand resting on her lap over her crotch.

"Take a picture it'll last longer," she turned her face to look at me for a second, a smirk plastered on her face.

"I wasn't even staring, don't flatter yourself," I turned my head to look out the window.

"Don't flatter yourself," she mocked me.

"I could practically see the drool slipping out of your mouth... speaking of, don't drool in my car. If you're gunna get one of your bodily fluids in my car, it's not going to be your drool," she continued, both of us turned towards each other. I looked at her with disgust and she shot me a wink.

"You're so gross," I let out a small laugh and went back to resting my head on the window. I closed my eyes and listened to the music from the radio, creating a fake music videos in my head with every song that played.

"Wake up beautiful, we're here," I heard Billie whispering as she gently shook my shoulder. I let out a small groan and stretched out as much as I possibly could. I took a second to collect myself before stepping out the car.

"Billie this is-"

"Beautiful?" She cut me off. I could only nod in response, In shock at the view in front of us.

We were on top of a hill that overlooked part of the city with a view of the ocean behind it. The partial city was perfectly lit up from the streetlights and traffic lights, making it easier to see the ground below, but not too bright to mask the stars.

Behind all the streets and houses, laid the ocean, which was normally hard to see at this time of night, but the moon was in a perfect spot, reflecting off the now darkened water.

It was the second most beautiful sight I've ever seen.

I was broken out of my trance when I felt Billie snake her arms around me, holding me as close as possible to her body, resting her head against mine.

"Is this okay?" she whispered in my ear. I only nodded in response, still being in shock at the view in front of me.

We stared at the view for awhile until Billie tugged at my hands meaning she wanted to sit down. I sat down and she sat down right behind me with her arms wrapped across my chest, and her legs resting against the sides of mine.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Billie whispered in my ear.

"Can I tell you a secret?" I said as I leaned my head back resting it against her shoulder.

"Anything," she pulled me in a little closer leaving no space between us.

"I hate being close to people, whether they're standing too close or them just hugging me, but there's something about you that makes me comfortable. I like it when you hold me, but it has to be close and tight, because when you don't I don't feel as comfortable. It's weird," I said the last couple words low, realizing I probably said too much or sounded stupid.

"It's not weird. I don't know what happened where you no longer like touch, but as long as you're comfortable with me, I never wanna let that go. I never wanna let you go."

I never wanna let you go. Those words hit me like a knife to the heart, instantly shattering. I never meant to hurt Billie, but this pain will only be temporary, and she'll soon forget about me. The pain I've been in, has been going on for too long and it'll never go away. I'm tired of living in pain and suffering every day, hoping each breath is my last. I'm not even living at this point, just surviving against my will.

"You okay?" Billie whispered in my ear.

"Hm? Yeah. Just distracted by this view," I lied.

"Don't lie to me. I Can tell when you're lying," she had a strict tone in her voice.

"How do you know when I'm lying?" I put my hand on top of her knee tracing circles.

"Your body language just changed in a way that's never happened before. I know you zone out a lot and everything, but whenever you're brought back to reality, you say the same phrase. It's almost as if you're still waking up from a nap, but this time, it was like you were speaking before your mind could come up with something."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, pulled my arm back placing it on my lap. I looked down towards my hands playing with my fingers.

Billie stood up and I immediately felt guilty. I refused to look up, scared that she was walking away. She walked in front of me and sat down, her legs over mine, the front of our bodies only inches away from each other.

"Look at me. You have nothing to be sorry for. It's okay. You know I'm always here for you," she put her hands on both sides of my face, lifting up my head forcing me to look at her.

"I know. I'm sorry," my eyes never leaving hers, guilt taking over my body. My heart rate started to increase while I stared into her eyes, our bodies so close to each other.

"Stop.apologizing." the grip she had on my face became slightly stronger.

"I'm so-"

Billie cut me off by kissing me. It took me by surprise, but I quickly kissed her back. I felt myself melt as our lips moved in sync. The way her lips fit between mine were like they were perfectly made for each other.

She pulled away and we just stared at each other. Our eyes occasionally glancing to each others lips, but we refused to move or speak up. The moonlight created sparkles in her eyes, almost as if the galaxy was trapped in them.

"Are you okay?" Billie whispered, our faces still inches apart.

"Yeah," I whispered and smiled.

"God, you're so beautiful," she said under her breath. I looked down as I felt my face heat up, trying my best to fight back a smile.

"Look at me," her hand went under my chin and lifted up my head. I looked at her with a small smile on my face. She paused for a minute before leaning back in to kiss me. I couldn't help but melt again at the euphoric feeling.

Just for a minute, it felt like everything was going to be okay.

25 hours