72 hours

Tell Me She's Okay

I woke up in a blurry room. I blinked a few times, realizing where I was, once my vision became clear. I was in a hospital room, in a hospital bed, all by myself. Wires coming out of my chest, connecting to a heart monitor.

"Thank god you're okay!" Aliyah rushed in and ran to my side, hugging me.

"Me? Im so happy that YOU'RE okay," we broke apart from the hug and smiled at each other. I studied her every feature, trying to soak it in.

"Of course I'm okay, I have you here. You're the only reason I kept fighting to try and stay alive," she put her hand on my cheek, gently stroking it in a comforting motion.

"Do you know what happened? Why am I here?" I placed my hand over the one she had on my face, feeling comfort at her touch.

"You passed out after you heard me flatline, but don't worry. You're okay. We're okay," she let out a small smile.

We stared into each others eyes as the room fell into a comfortable silence. I felt different, I felt complete and happy. I missed being able to stare into her eyes, watching them being slightly squished by her cheeks when she'd smile. I missed this feeling so much. It was like the first time I met her, only better.

I heard someone talking in the distance so I turned towards the door, but no one was there. I looked over towards Aliyah, but she was no longer there. I started panicking as my heart monitor let out a far too familiar sound. I turned to look at it, but none of the lines were moving. I was dying just like her.

I heard the talking come closer and the monitor going off, but it was completely muffled at this point, making me feel like I was underwater.

I inhaled sharply, lunging forward. I sat straight up with my arms placed next to me, holding myself up. I looked around the room and saw I was in a hospital room once again, but this time, surrounded by doctors instead of Aliyah.

"Relax. You're okay," a nurse said and put a slight pressure on my shoulder gesturing for me to lay back down. I looked around the room, staring at all the doctors while I tried to process everything going on, slowly laying back down.

"What happened? What's going on?" I shifted my eyes between everyone in the room, some of the doctors were starting to leave.

"You passed out in the hallway," the same nurse next to me said, I turned and made eye contact with her.

"Please tell me she's okay. I want the truth," my breathing increased as well as my heart rate.

"Well-" I lost focus again. I watched as the nurse moved her lips, but I couldn't concentrate on what she was saying. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't. I was too scared to find out she died. If I didn't hear it, it wasn't real.

"What's wrong? Shouldn't you be excited?" I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"What?" I looked at the nurse confused, realizing I had zoned out.

"She's okay. She's alive. I don't know what happened, but while I was checking up on her I started to walk out of the room, when her heart monitor started to go off again. When I looked at it, her heart rate was going so fast, we thought she was gonna have a seizure, but she ended up waking up instead." A smile crept up on my face when she finished talking.

"I'm no expert-" I looked at her confused. My eyes moving up and down, studying her outfit.

"Anyways. I'm so expert when it comes to situations like this, but I'd say she came back for you," we both smiled at each other, a single tear falling down my cheek.

"It's gunna be okay love," she patted my shoulder in a comforting motion, before making her way out the room.

"I had a dream about her," I spoke up right before she left the room.

"Hm?" She turned back and walked towards me, not hearing what I said.

"I had a dream about her before I woke up," I said again, but quieter.

"What happened?" She walked back over towards me.

"I woke up in this exact room and bed, she came rushing over towards me and said she was relieved that I was okay," I smiled before continuing, accidentally cutting off the nurse.

"She told me, 'I'm okay, we're okay'. After she said, that I woke up," I looked at the nurse trying to study her for an answer.

"Maybe I am an expert at this," her smile became wide.

"Can I ask you something?" I looked down and played with my fingers.

"Anything," I could feel her staring at me, watching me play with my fingers.

"In my dream, she said I was the reason she fought to stay alive, but what if she tries this again?" My voice cracked, my throat starting to burn from holding back tears.

"If for some reason she does, you just have to stay positive. I know that doesn't help her, but staying positive will bring some sort of comfort, whether you realize it or not. Just try to make her happy and keep her mind off things, if she still does it, you did everything you can. The mind is the most powerful thing about a person, so just know it's not your fault," She had a hand on my shoulder and a slight smile, trying to be comforting.

"But what if she doesn't deserve it. To feel sad I mean," I glanced up at her, my eyes watery.

"No one deserves to feel this type of pain, but sometimes you just can't help it. I like to say the negative will always outweigh the positive, if you pay too much attention to it." I zoned trying to process everything she just said.

"But don't focus on all that right now. Your girlfriend finally woke up after nearly dying many times, you should be happy. We're releasing you in about an hour, which means you can go see her after," she put her hand on my shoulder again.

Your girlfriend. I got a flashback to when I was on the phone, but I tried to brush it off.

"When can I see her?" I looked at her with a smile on my face.

"Well, technically you're not allowed to because we need to keep her stable for awhile, but I'll sneak you in there. Just make sure you don't make her heart go super crazy." We both smiled

"I doubt that will happen," I said and she rolled her eyes at me

"Keep lying to yourself, whatever helps you feel better," she winked and left the room.

I let out a happy sigh as I stared at the ceiling. I was going to be released in an hour and I couldn't help but feel nervous. I was scared she'd be mad at the fact I called for help. I was scared she'd never want to see me again. Even though I was so happy and excited, so many negative thoughts occupied my mind, but I couldn't stop them. I didn't even try to stop them.

I just want us to be okay.