Tied to Another

Chapter 2: Half way to Standing, yet Fully Falling in a Downward Spiral

   It had been a couple of days, admittedly rather lonely days, for Izuku since Kirishima and Ka...Bakugo decided they, Bakugo and Izuku, would have their soul string severed... but so far it hadn't happened. 

   Izuku was starting to find this annoying. For about a week he'd emotionally prepared for a blow that didn't seem to be coming, having requested and received allowance to keep a mini-fridge in his dorm and having a weeks supply of what was once ice-cream but was now just flavoured milk in jars. For the same period of time, he found himself becoming less and less nervous about the severed string because it hadn't been cut immediately and more anxious as to why. It could be the interference of Kirishima, being the kind soul he is, either knowing or acknowledging the potential for pain having a severed string would cause Izuku. 

   He tossed himself gracelessly off his bed and onto the floor in a successful attempt to not scream his paranoid frustration to all that could hear: anyone outside the building, for his window was opened. He was rather surprised no one stopped him from locking himself away all week and even more shocked that even fewer people offered sympathy. That would mean Bakugo. Bakugo is the negative. 

   He just wanted this to be over! It felt like torture to wait! To promise such horror and not follow through, is that not in it's own right cruel? Izuku was tempted to just cut it himself. 

   No, he soothed the voices in his head chattering their praises for the idea. It's his decision... isn't it? He's the one unhappy. 

    He's the one... not... happy... isn't he? I'm perfectly okay- I am fine! He huffed and pulled himself up. He was fine, he was the okay one in this dynamic, because Bakugo was the not-okay one, right? Bakugo is the one that wants out... but doesn't Izuku want that too? He hasn't even attempted to prevent that outcome.... He paused upon the thought, half way to standing upright, fully falling into a better understanding of what he wants. Closer to the bottom, but the bottom of what? A pit of despair? The realization the Kacchan he wanted wasn't Bakugo? No, that made no-

   A knock on the door brought him out of his mind, back into reality. Followed by a voice he recognized.

   "Deku? Are you okay?" The usually cheerful voice now holding a level of concern Izuku didn't think he'd heard in it before. Perhaps some of his peers- apparently Uraraka, the one at the door- had noticed his out of character behaviour. "We haven't seen you all weekend..."...Or maybe not.

   So, he stretched and imagined it was just a regular Sunday. Nothing abnormal or stressy about it, because now that it seemed his string wouldn't be cut, it was your average 1-A Sunday. "I'm fine, Uraraka-chan," Izuku tried to force his regular smile into his voice as he quickly threw on more appropriate clothes for where he anticipated this conversation was going. He remembered the anti-sound nature of the walls, allowing the most possible privacy, and spoke loudly and tried not to stutter. "I... I've just been feeling rather tired recently, but I've been up for a few hours." Crafting his sentence as to not make Uraraka feel as though he were trying to drive her away, or give the impression she was being a bother and interrupting his sleep. 

   It wasn't a total lie. Half-lies, Izuku had found over the years, were the easiest to tell. He had been tired, so tired of the constant ring of lectures given by Bakugo for... Gods know what. He'd been tired with the constant realizations of how messed up of a person Bakugo is. Someone who tried to drive another human to their death was coming into a position of authority, a position of power. It was scary, and being frightened by someone Izuku loved hurt him and feeling so many feelings made him want to take a long nap....

   "Oh? Ok." Uraraka sounded relieved. "Mina, Hagakure, Sato, and I are going shopping for the week, so if you need anything just text us." Izuku paused at that. Apparently his intuition had been wrong. "I think the rest of the class is heading to the arcade, but I was to busy putting a list together to really know... but everyone has plans." Oh. They really hadn't noticed. "If you need anything, you know you can rely on us! Just text someone if you need anything or want to talk! I'll see you at dinner?" 

   Izuku called out faulty reassurance as he heard Uraraka run down the hall and call to someone out of earshot. If there was one thing Izuku was sure of, he was not going to dinner.