You Make Me Wanna Die (Louis Tomlinson Fan Fiction)

HEYLO!

Hiya!

My name is Mila Tyler.

I'm 18 years old.

I live in London. I have lived in London for 3 months, I graduated from high school early...no im not a dork.....im a rich dork XD. Yeah, Im rich but im also immature, funny, kind and...insecure. Worst of my flaws, insecurity.

You may wonder 'pshh insecure, you have no reason to be insecure' well....let me tell what that is my friend......BULLSHIT!!! Sorry about that XD

~~~~flashback- 6th of July 2010 - 23:24~~~~

"MIMI! HURRY UP!" He screamed. He said he has a surprise for me. My friend is 16....as am I. I jumped off of my treeswing outside my house and did a 'james bond' roll, my hair sweeping the ground as I go. The gravel lacing its way through my bleached locks. I hopped in front of my friend.

"6am tomorrow" He sighed, tears in his eyes.

"And I know you don't get up in the morning so I would like to say goodbye tonight" He continued. I sighed and hugged him tightly.

"I hope you do well, I'll really miss you"

"Mimi, I probably wont get through and be back on the 8th!" He laughed.

"Bullshit you'll get through, I'll really miss you"

"I'll really miss you too mimi"

"I have something for you" He sniffed, letting a stray tear cascade down his cheeks, falling off of his dimple as if it were a person off a cliff. He pulled away and took a box from his back pocket, he revealed two necklaces engraved with 'partners in crime'.

"They're amazing" I laughed. and he put the necklace on me.

"I love you Mila Tyler" He started to cry and so did I.

"I love you Harold Styles" I giggled.

Partners In Crime.

~~~~End of flashback~~~~

I do miss harry, and I would do ANYTHING to have him back but at the same time I want him to be happy and I know he is. My boy. My one direction boy. Im so proud of him :)

Anyway, I work at a charity bakery, I may be rich but I like to work, gives me something to do. Minimum wage. The bakery is to raise money for cancer im the only employee besides the owner, only employee so we don't have to pay too many people and subtract money for the charity. Im 5'7 . I have long blonde hair, quite emo and skinny. Im not good with looks though. Im self conscious because there must of been a reason why harry ignored me for 2 years. Im not good enough for him. I understand that. I agree with that. That's all for now, bye :)

~~~~~~~Saturday. 26th of June 2012 09:58 am~~~~~~~~~

I entered the café, the summer breeze ruffling my hair.

"Hey honeybunch, how are ya?" The woman that owns the bakery grinned, her name was Mae, she was chubby and short, the stereotypical old woman act.

"Im great today, Mae. Have you got my shift rota?" I hung my cardigan on the hook in the back and started tying my hair back into a messy bun.

"Yes, Since its lovely weather I've cut your hours down" She smiled kindly. I nodded in thanks and wrapped the elastic around my bun and slid on my hairnet. I took the rota, folded it and put it in my apron pocket.

"Hun! Can you open up, Im unloading the cherry buns!" Mae shouted from the back of the bakery.

"Yup!" I replied, walking towards the door and unlocking the door. I heard the click of the lock and I flipped the sign to 'Welcome in, we're open'

The usual customers came in, the elderly, the young children from the nursery and lovely young couples. It came to 5:56pm and there were very little customers. Mae and I were gossiping as per usual.

"Have you finished unpacking yet? Six months ma'dear, that's plenty of time" Mae chuckled, you could hear her voice aging. We were quite good friends, she was like a mum to me. Mum. Dad. About them, Im not on very good terms with my parents, except my dad. Im definitely a daddy's girl. My mother is very stuck up, you don't want to know.

"Not quite yet, Mae" I chuckled and sipped my tea, it was scorching hot, burning my tongue, my throat, and the roof of my mouth, yet I liked it.

"How much left?" Mae smiled, looking generally interested in our conversation. She takes a general interest in me.

"Just the spare rooms" I sighed.

"Oh look at me, Im rich and live in a big fancy house with 8 bedrooms" Mae mimicked me.

"6 rooms, mae. 6 rooms" I rolled my eyes and chuckled placing my red mug on the counter and sat on the stool at the till.

"Yeah yeah yeah Mila, Close up" Mae smiled and went to the back. I looked around, scanning the room for customers. Empty. I untied my apron and picked up my handbag.

"Mae! Im off! See you later!" I shouted.

"Bye honeybunch! Get unpacked!" I giggled at her response and left, locking the shop as I leave. Im extremely tired. I exited and checked my phone. 17:04 pm. (5:04pm)

I left and went around to the alley where I park my car. I have a white Kia sportage and an aston martin vanquish, dark blue. But today I decided to take my Kia Sportage. It took me 45 minutes to get to my house, in the country side. It certainly was a fancy house. I got out of my car, locket it and opened my door. I hung my keys on the hook and went to the living room and turned on the television.

"Here I am today with England and Ireland's finest...ooooone direction!" The perky interviewer chirped. I always watch whatever I can of the boys, listen to their music and everything like that. I may be a bit emo but I do love one direction. I slipped off my jacket, eyes focused on the screen and got comfortable.

I watched the whole 2 hours of the interview and it was coming to the end.

"So boys last question what do you miss most about home?" The interviewer crossed her legs and smiled. All the boys answered then it came to Harry, I was sitting on the end of the couch, praying he would say he missed me.

"Well...I miss my family for definite but apart from that nothing really matter there" Harry answered. My whole world fell to pieces..I think my heart just broke. I turned the TV off and marched to my room. I started to cry.

RING. RING.

I answered my phone almost immediately.

"Hey sweetie, its daddy"

"Hi daddy" I choked back my tears and sucked in my gut.

"How are ya?"

"Im good, daddy, how about you?"

"Great hun, great"

"Listen daddy, I would LOVE to stay and chat but I am quite busy, I'll call you tomorrow. Promise"

"Okay, hun, stay safe. I love you"

"I love you too dad"

I hung up the phone and collapsed in tears on my bed. I took of my long sleeved top, leaving me in a tank top and stared at my scars, yes I self harmed. Tears dripped onto the swollen wrists. I stood up and got changed. I was wearing a black tank top and yellow short shorts. I got up and walked to my bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. Why did I have to be like this? Ugly, Stupid, Worthless. Im a train wreck. Im nothing. I picked up a blade and without second thought I sliced my wrist open. The crimson liquid that I know all to well, oozed into my sink. 3 cut. 4 cut. 5 cut. 6 cut. It went on for minutes upon minutes. I grabbed a cloth and poured some plain alcohol on it, rubbed my arms and hissed in pain. It stung but it had to be done. You could see that the cuts where fresh.

I lay on the floor for hours and eventually fell asleep. My body ached and my wrists stung but what was done was done, no going back now.

Please come back. I would do anything. Please,

Harry, please.