A Family To Protect And Love

11. Memories

Charles's pov

It has been a year since I woke up. But I didn't see or hear about Erik. I couldn't even contract him. He has that ominous helmet on. I tried many times to find him. B..but it feels like he..he just disappeared. I tried to cope with it but everytime I close my eyes, i see his face. .so, I did the one thing I sweared I would never do again. I started to drown myself and my thoughts in alcohol again. Others weren't very happy about it. But what can I do. I need something to ease my pain. I am ashamed of myself because I couldn't even kill myself. It's not like i didn't try. I did twice. The First one was 5 months ago when I was cutting myself. Yes, I cut myself when the pain is to much to bear. But that day, the cut was quite deep and I passed out. Logan and alex broke the bathroom door and saved me. After that day I promised raven that I would never do that again only if she don't say anything to the twins when they come back from a mission. She kept her promise . So I had to keep mine.The second one was 2 months ago,I couldn't sleep anymore. The voices that I kept under controlled for so many years was haunting me. So , I took a few sleeping pills to sleep which turned out to be a full bottle of pills. Wanda and peter found me that time. And I almost died again. Then the twins broke down crying. They made me realise what I was doing to them. They already lost their dad and I was taking their other parent, their mom from them too. I realised how selfish I was. So, I tried to be better. I really tried b..but sometimes, memories are hard to cope with. All those moments with Erik. ' Erik's asking me for marriage, us getting married,Us being a family. Erik's asking me if I would like to give birth to his children. The twins agreeing. Our wedding vows. All his promise. All the memories we shared as a family. A dream of having a big happy family.' Everything starts to hurt. I tried to show others that I was ok . So I started hiding all my pain in my heart. Every night crying my self to sleep . I shut wanda out of my mind and created a mental barrier so she wouldn't know how pathetic and vulnerable I have become.

AUTHOR'S POV

Today was Charles 39th birthday. The twins planned a party for Charles. He was happy and there was smile on his face after a long time. Everything was perfect until Erik's face came to his mind. Charles told everyone that he was not feeling good so ,he is going to sleep early. Yes, he didn't lied there. Indeed, he wasn't feeling good. There was a faint pain in his chest and he was vomiting from last night. He couldn't distinguish if it was from any illness or from Erik's memories. Charles went to his office and brought a bottle of alcohol from his mini office resfragateor. Charles started to look through his phone's gallary. There was a lot of photos of him and Erik with the twins. Charles scrolled through every photo and all the memories flooded his mind. From Him saving Erik's life to their wedding and being a happy family with the twins.

Charles slammed the phone down as tears ran down his face.
"Hank!" his voice echoed through the mansion.

"What's wrong?" The blue mutant answered as he caught his breath walking into the telepath's office.

"I can't do this," Charles said angrily as he poured himself a glass of alcohol.

"You can't do what?" Hank asked as he pondered what could have upset Charles so much, he'd been doing so well since they got back from the hospital 2 months ago.

"All of it," Charles sighed. "I can't help you find any students, or teachers. I keep getting migraines from the surge of voices in my head.And every morning I almost fall out of bed as I trying to reach him in my dream. But I can't reach him just like in real life. I have become a burden to you all. Again. " he added before downing his drink.

"Yes you can, and no, you are not.you never was,Charles. You are an inspiration for all of us." Hank replied calmly.

"Yes,I can." Charles laughed mockingly.

"Charles "hank called softly.

"Hmmm..." Charles hummed while pouring him another glass of alcohol.

" you are drunk. " Hank said quietly.

" I know." Charles said licking his lips and tried to stand up but fall backward on his chair as the pain in his heart intensifies.

"Let me take you to your room,Charles." Hank said walking near Charles. Charles nodded weakly. Charles wrapped his left hand around Hanks shoulder and clutched his heart with his right hand.

"Thank you,hank for staying by my side all this years and being a brother that I never knew I needed."Charles said as he starts to breath heavily.

"Charles, clam down. And you don't need to thank me . For me, you were always a brother. " Hank said sincerely.

" Thank you. And tell everyone I love them a lo.." Charles's words were cut as he fell down on the ground with a thud.

"CHARLES!!!!" Hank yelled.