Dazai Angst Oneshots

A boy.(Pride Month special)

Okay so before we start I just wanted to say that I'm so so so so sorry that it took me so long aaaaa [cry] 

I just didn't really have any motivation, I had kind of a burn out? I was overall feeling a bit down and I had some private problems-

I know that I should've made this sooner I'm sorry once again-

Trans ftm Dazai au and contains soukoku!

!TW: self-harm, gender dysphoria!

uh enjoy-

Dazai was looking at himself in the mirror. He didn't exactly... like his body.

You look like a girl.

You? A boy? Don't make me laugh.

You should just suck it up and be a girl, You'll grow out of it.

In his head, he heard the voices of all the people who have told him this. His eyes began to water as he eyed the female in the mirror.

"Fuck." He thought and picked up the bandage off the floor and began wrapping it around his chest. He was making less and less room for breathing and soon he was suffocating underneath the layer of tight bandages. It felt so good. It felt like he was less of a female now.

Next, a part of his daily routine, or at least a thing he has been doing every day for over a week. He opened a drawer in the nightstand and pulled out a paper knife. He put it to his skin and made a cut. He felt satisfaction as the cut got filled with his red blood. He made a few more. 

He was about to do another one, when he heard the door to his apartment open and close. A groan and footsteps echoed through the rooms.

-Yo, Dazai....-Chuuya opened the door to his and Dazai's shared bedroom and froze in place. The brunet looked at him with his empty, hazel eyes. He sighed deeply before making his way to Dazai and hugging him.

-What's wrong?- He asked softly.

Although their favourite activity was messing around and bullying each other, Chuuya was always here for Dazai when he needed him and the other way around. Yes, they hate and love each other at the same time. Their relationship is something special, something they both don't fully understand and can't explain.

Dazai didn't respond. He was smiply staring into the floor.

-Osamu... -His voice was full of worry and concern.

-I just- don't feel... well- Dazai said, hoping the other would understand what he meant. He felt weak. Opening up to someone is something he has always struggled with. It felt like he was too pathetic and weak to handle the problem on his own.

Chuuya sighed once again. He hugged the taller man tighter.

-Alright, let's take care of those cuts first. Then we'll get more comfortable and talk about it, okay?- He proposed. Dazai nodded lightly and sat on the bed while Chuuya took out the first aid kit. After disinfecting and bandaging the cuts, he helped Dazai unwrap the bandages around his chest. He softly massaged the red marks left from the tightens on his body. Dazai changed into his favourite oversized hoodie while his boyfriend went to the kitchen and made some hot chocolate. When he was done he put the mugs on their nightstand and they both went under the covers. Dazai laid his head on Chuuya's chest and hugged him, while the older one played with his brown locks.

-So... I'm guessing the dysphoria got to you today..? -Chuuya asked after they got comfortable. Dazai nodded quietly. The older male sighed and leaned closer to his ear.

-Osamu. I need you to listen to me real quick, okay? You're not a girl, you're a boy. Don't listen to people w5ho say otherwise, they're just idiots, screw them. I'll always see you as a boy, because you are one and your female body doesn't change anything, alright? What matters is how you feel inside, not how you look-Chuuya said in a soft, quiet voice.

-Thank you, slug- Dazai said in a joking tone. Chuuya's words cheered him up and got him in a better mood.

-Oh you did not just...-

-Oh but I did~

-Fuck you mackerel!

-You want it public or private?

-YOU...- AGHHH

Dazai's soft laugh echoed through the room. It made Chuuya happy even though he'd never admit it. He loved seeing the taller man happy and he'd do anything to cheer him up.

A/N

So yeah- sorry if it's bad or whatever but I hope you liked it!

Your body doesn't define your gender and don't listen to transphobes

You can love whoever you want, don't listen to homophobes

You're enough, you're valid and I'm proud of you <3

Happy Pride Month! (even though it's already ending- )

Have a good day/afternoon/night <3