Dazai Angst Oneshots

Merry Christmas, Chuuya.

(Please read the A/N)
TW: suicide

A big, dressed all in red and gold colours and with eleven baubles with each memeber's name hanging on it. Well, ten at the moment. The faint christmas music that Kenji put on was making the atmosphere all nice and cozy. And of course, the smell of food was making it even better.

The table was being prepared by yosano, atsushi, kyouka and kenji, Ranpo was eating snacks and kunikida closely scrutinised the tree.

"Something's missing..." He muttered and tapped his chin in thought. Then the realization hit him.
"Where's Dazai's bauble?" He asked and started looking around for it.
"Is it not on the tree? That's weird... I thought me and kyouka hanged every bauble..." Atsushi scratched his head in confusion.
"Maybe it fell?" Yosano suggested, coming up to kunikida and looking for it around the floor.
"Speaking of which, where even is Dazai-San?" Tanizaki pointed out. The agency memebers looked around, serching for the messy mop of brown hair and a cheeky smile.
Tanizaki was right. Dazai was missing...  again.
Kunikida facepalmed and sighed in disappointment.
"That imbecile..." he grumbled, looking like he's a step away from having a stroke. He pulled out his phone and dialed Dazai's number.
No response.
One more call.
No response again.
Third call.
"This number is out of reach at the moment"

It was already late afternoon. The streets were empty, everyone was spending time with their family and friends, eating, talking and laughing together; celebrating christmas in their own, unique way.

Not a single car drove across the bridge. Not a single person.

Just Dazai. On a completely empty bridge.
He walked around on it, looking at the houses in the distance, the cozy, yellow lights in the windows, the silly christmas decorations lighting up the darkness.

His face scrunched in disgust.

He was alone. He felt alone.

Sure, he was supposed to celebrate with the agency, but it's not like they could ever understand him. They were his friends, yet they knew nothing about him.

Dazai crouched down and reached his bare hand out to the snow peacefully laying on the path.
It wasn't soft, like one would expect. The weather was cold, but not cold enough to not make the snow melt. Because of this, the snow has turned into milions of tiny ice pieces, hard and harsh to the touch. He had to use his nails to scoop it up.
Cold. It was cold.
It hurt his hands as he formed a snowball. But the pain was pleasing. It gave his stomach that strange feeling, one that he could not explain.
It kept him grounded.

He threw the snowball into the air watching it fall into the water far below him.

A smile.

He walked to the edge and observed the sight. A single stronger blow of the wind and he'd fall, finally becoming one with the nature.
The idea thrilled him.
Neverless, he decided to sit on the edge, his feet dangerously dangling in the cold air.
After just sitting there for a while,he took out his phone and with shaky hands picked out the emergency contact in his phone.

"Merry Christmas, Chuuya.

He clicked "send". The little voice message icon appeared on his screen along with "sent".
He didn't know how the other person would reply. He didn't want to know.
That's when he decided to throw his phone into the river.

A few final breaths.

A final glance at the beloved city.

And a fall.

A christmas tree all dressed in red and gold and ten specific baubles. Faint Christmas songs playing in thr background. Chatter and laughter along with the delicious food smell filled the room. Ten people sitting at the table, making good memories together.

"Hey, guys - did you find Dazai's bauble after all?"
...
"Oh - no, it was nowhere to be found."

A/N
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!
Not me writting a christmas special right after I said that I wouldn't :p

Anywayss
In Poland(where I live), we celebrate Christmas mostly on the Christmas Eve, which is called Wigilia. Families and friends gather together in the afternoon to eat a fancy dinner/supper. Usually there arr the most popular 12 christmas dishes on table. After the meal, people unpack their presents and then just spend time together. That is why in the oneshot everyone is celebrating Christmas Eve (I know that they're in Japan,but i just wanted to add something from myself)

With that said, I hope you enjoyed this little special and I'm sorry for being late ahah- I'm on a week-long trip with my family, so I didn't have too much time to write this-
Have a nice day/afternoon/night!! Remember that you're more than enough and I'm proud of you <33