Dazai Angst Oneshots

Why are you never happy?

"Why are you never happy?"

The boy with half-bandaged face turned to him, shock only visible for mere milliseconds on his face, before an innocent, nonchalant smile placed itself on top of the expression. Just like it always did.
Dazai didn't like surprises just as much as he didn't like showing such affected him in any way.
He generally didn't like showing anything affected him in any way, at all. It felt a little bit too human for his liking.

"Whatever do you mean, Odasaku? I'm smiling even right now, am I not?", he calmly replied to the question with one of his own.

He was, in fact, smiling. He would always have a cheerful demeanor, a sort of innocent, happy vibe around him.
Yet the void in his eyes never disappeared. Not once when Odasaku has ever spoken to Dazai did the concerning darkness around him vanish.

Oda turned back to the glass of whiskey in his hand, swirling the alcohol around.

"A mere smile does not mean true joy, Dazai.", He spoke, his eyes closed as the ice clinked satisfyingly.

Dazai downed his glass in one go.

"Fair point, Odasaku.", was all he said, staring off into the space behind the counter.

A comfortable silence settled between them as Dazai retreated into his head.
He didn't seem particularly fond of the question at hand.

Why was he never happy?
Was it the feeling of dread creeping up on him whenever he felt at least a sparkle of true happiness?

You'll ruin it.

Maybe it was the fear.
It's better to drown yourself in your own sorrows, rather than lose whatever made you feel that tiny spark of joy in the first place.
Because that's how it's always been afterall. Let your guard down for half a second, you'll get shot five times by fate. Right in the already stained by blood of many, not only yours, wounded chest. Feeling even slightly content with how things are was simply not the safest option in this cruel world. Honestly, it wasn't an option at all.

"Odasaku?"

The man simply hummed in reply, his eyes closed as he took a sip of his drink.

"What if my happiness kills?"

He paused, then put his glass down with an amused snort. The boy really amused him with those ridiculous questions sometimes.

"Don't be stupid. Even if it did, aren't you the boss's right-hand man? Happiness that kills shouldn't concern you all that much."
Dazai just blinked at him, then the corner of his lips quivered into a smirk, until in the end he couldn't contain his laughter, throwing his head back as his voice echoed in the quiet, peaceful bar.
The few people drinking away their sorrows on this slow Tuesday evening glanced over at the two, judging quietly.. He couldn't help it; everything just seemed so much funnier when the warm buzz of alcohol was present in his body.

"You never fail to amuse me.", He smiled to himself, sliding his glass towards the bartender in a silent request for a refill.

If Dazai had to be honest, lately life really hasn't been too bad, or at least wasn't as horrible as usual. He's been hanging out with Odasaku a lot, Ango tagging along most of the time as well, he had people he could be immature and almost childish with. People who didn't shiver in fear and run away as fast as they could when they saw him. People who he could ask ridiculous, stupid things all day and would still get an answer from. People who didn't see him as a cold-hearted monster.

His relationship with the stupid Slug has been getting better too, maybe...(Not that it's important to him or anything!)
Despite the odds, and the fact that they were complete opposites, they somehow just clicked together(not that either of them would ever admit that out loud). So, despite everything, Dazai found himself not minding, or even enjoying(how ridiculous is that?) the fiery redhead's company most of the time.
And if he sometimes found himself staring at the guy for a bit too long, and would look away in embarrassment, that was nobody's but Dazai's business.

...Where was he? Oh, yeah. Life just hasn't been as unbearable as it always was. He even found himself enjoying still being alive.

Kind of.

Sometimes.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

Dazai silently cursed himself over and over for ever admitting something as foolish as that as he ran as fast as he could, despite the ache in his legs, his heart racing, completely out of his control, and the struggle to breathe. He didn't have time to catch his breath, he had to get there as quickly as possible.

Fuck.

He ran into the rusty, abandoned building hidden in a forest, almost tripping over his steps and the many lifeless bodies sprawled across the red-stained floor as he practically flew up the stairs.

Gunshot.

Shit. Fuck.

There they were. Both men were already on the floor, each in his own puddle of blood. Everything stopped, then his ears started uncomfortably ringing.
He was late.

"Odasaku!"

Everything I'd never want to lose is lost the moment I obtain it.
That's how it's always been for me.

word count: 837(this shit lowk short ik😭🙏)

A/N:

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
already fucked up 2025 BUT 2026 IS GONNA BE MY YEAR‼️‼️

I wonder if this one will leave y'all shattered or nah cuz like i dont think it's that soul wretching

Oh yea also for my fellow skk stans since he had to leave the mafia and he left Chuuya he also lost the second reason why his life has been bearble, hope this helps! 🥰💖

Alr see y'all in one year or smth🙏🙏🙏

Have a nice day/afternoon/night:3