my favourite kook || rafe cameron

chapter 20: revenge and relapse

tw: drug use, mentions of od, mentions of drug use, etc..

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I stand there confused, frozen in time. Why would Rafe be with Kiara?

What's Kiara telling him?

I notice Kie's arms move up, swinging around it neck.

That bitch.

I don't want to jump to any conclusions, but what else am I supposed to think? Rafe and I aren't together though. I'm not jealous. At least I shouldn't be.

Okay, I lied.

Maybe I am.

Maybe I like him.

This doesn't make any sense. Kie likes JJ. But he was acting off when I asked him how it went. Is it possible he rejected her? Even if so, why would she be all over Rafe right now.

Furious, I look back at the table where everyone's snorting cocaine.

The urges.

It's like every single white particle is calling me name.

Cassandra.

Cassandra.

Come on Cassie. We know you want to.

No. I don't.

But I do.

I rush over to the table, right where Rafe had been sitting, Scarlett sitting to my left.

I quickly line up some of the substance.

I sit there for a second, contemplating.

I'm sweating and shaking.

I wouldn't relapse again, because of Rafe?

Would I?

"Helloooo? Cassie?" Scarlett waves her hand in-front my face.

"Hey." I blink a couple times, snapping back into reality.

"Are you going to do a line or-"

"Uh- yeah. Yeah. Give me a sec."

I hadn't told too many people about me being sober, or having a bad addiction in the past. It's not really info you want circulating around on small island. I didn't wanna be known as the towns drug addict.

I swallow hard, giving into the urge.

I pick up and roll a dollar bill. Bringing it up to my nose and down to the table. I inhale sharply, hard stinging in my nose immediately.

Scarlett laughs and cheers me on.

It's ironic, really. She doesn't really know me. My past experiences with drugs. She's cheering me on but deep down, I'm disappointed in myself.

All those thoughts clear right out of my head after a minute.

Pure pleasure.

I suddenly remember watching Rafe and Kiara.

I look back to where they had been standing, only seeing Rafe this time.

This is my chance. Hurt him like he hurt me.

I get up off the couch and walk over to Kelce.

"Hey." I say to him, serotonin pumping through my veins.

"Hey, he replies back. Where's Rafe?"

"Who cares." I sassily reply.

Looking back on it, I was super upset. And drunk. And on coke. I wasn't thinking straight.