Hating Season

16-Panick

NICHOLAS GRAHAM
Ahh fuck.

I didn't think it would be like this. I thought we were done with these dammed panic attacks. One minute I was a man standing, and the other i couldn't breathe and was falling. I knew exactly what had triggered me, but I refuse to push it away this time.

It could be another man named Richard James Graham, could it not? My dad would never, ever do that to me. To us. Never. He just wouldn't. No other explanation. As soon as I had saw that name I had lost it without even going into investigating the situation, which is clearly what I should've done.

Instead, I had lost my shit, and reopened a portal to a habit I had stopped having years ago. All those therapy sessions for nothing now. If it wasn't for the miracle god had sent me, if it wasn't for her. I might have ended up in a worse situation.

I remember so vividly how her soothing voice had reduced every other sound in my head into silence. She saved me. And I didn't even goddamn thank her. Now I just have her one more reason to hate me, and I don't think I could survive that.

"You alright there kid?" Waltons voice snaps me out of my thoughts. I send him the fakest I'm ok smile in the world. "Yeah, yeah I'm good. Just panicked a bit there. I'm fine though. Thanks" I reply sitting in my desk, refocusing on my breathing.

After a few seconds, he takes a seat in front of me as my i advert my gaze from the paper in front of me to him. He smiles. "Your being too hard on yourself Graham. Take the day off, you have practice after lunch and you certainly don't want to fuck that up, do you?" He says as I gulp.

I hated skipping work. But I even hated being to tired to skip hockey practice even more, which left me no other choice than to take his advice. Mom was probably worried about me too, and my head was hurting  like hell.

We both know it's not because of that panic attack.

I nod at him. "Thankyou. I'll head home and rest for a while. Say hi to your wife for me, will you?" I say getting up as he lets out a laugh. "Will do" I hear him say as I grab my bag, and head out of the office.

I'm just hoping I can fix things up tonight at Aunt Dina's party.
____________________________________
NADIA WARREN
I sigh as I stick the last two ballon's on the wall. Finally, I look at the wife living room me and the girls had been decorating the whole day. Kareem was at hockey practice, but I knew he had wanted to help out either way, which is why he was picking up the cake on his way back.

With Nicholas. Yay.

I was able to distract myself the whole day from him, and I don't need any other reminder. I would just simply act like he wasn't going to be here tonight. That's it. Simple. This party was to celebrate my aunt, not get worked up over someone who isn't worth it.

The necklace around your neck says otherwise.

I gulp as I take my hand up to my throat, making sure my necklace was tucked under my shirt, invisible. "You finished the balloons, Nora?" April calls out to me from the kitchen. She was busy making cinnamon flavored cupcakes decorated with vanilla icing and white chocolate chips on top, to display next to the other foods.

She was probably the most talented person I knew when it came to both cooking and baking. The maximum I could ever do in the kitchen was probably Noodles and popcorn.

She's always going to be there to put food in my mouth, anyway so I'm safe.

"Yes ma'm. Make sure the oven is shut off once you take out the cupcakes. We don't want to burn it like last time" April laughs at my comment, as I smile. Ok. Zeina is at the hospital, making sure she distracts my aunt. Kareem was picking up the cake. April just put the cupcakes in, and all the guests were going to arrive in 35 minutes or so.