Epilogue: Taehyung

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Midnight December 26, 2020
Hannam-Dong, Seoul, South Korea

The apartment has been lonely and empty for the past three weeks without Elle in it. Her summer break is over in just seven days, a break I thought we would be able to spend together. I had plans to celebrate our first Christmas extravagantly on a fancy all inclusive vacation in Europe but when I started to propose the idea to her, she broke the news that she would be spending most of the break with her parents in Chicago.

It didn't feel right to pout about it. She hasn't seen her family since she relocated in February. It was selfish of me to feel sad about it at all. But I still missed her. We haven't hardly had our time off line up since she started at Yonsei, and she's hardly had a free second in general. Elle pours every spare second into Korean lessons and practice. It's paid off, considering in just ten months we can now have complete conversations with each other (Google Translate barely present anymore).

An American Christmas movie plays on the TV and our Christmas tree is brightly lit. My feet are propped up on the wooden coffee table, trying to feel the warmth of the fire under the rolling movie. Yeontan lays on a soft blanket next to me on the couch. He's not sleeping, but he sighs every once in a while as if he knows who's coming. I stare blankly at the cooling hot chocolates—two steaming mugs—on the coffee table—away from my feet. The company wouldn't let me go to the airport to pick up Elle like they did when she visited with her mother the first time. I've been away from the public eye recently and they're afraid any sight of me will be instantly caught and Elle and I will be exposed. So I wait with Tan in our apartment as I pray and wish for her to arrive faster so I can finally stop missing her so much.

I'm reaching to check the temperature of the mugs when I hear the keypad beeping and the front door unlocking. I jump and stare at the door, catching Tan doing the exact same thing out of the corner of my eye. The door opens and in shuffles Elle's bundled up body, lugging her huge suitcase into the apartment behind her. Tan jumps up and barks at her which grabs her attention.

My girlfriend's eyes focus on the two of us on the couch before they wander to the room around. She takes in the dreamy Christmas atmosphere I've built for her and the few presents under the tree I've wrapped up for her. Her bottom lip juts out in the cutest pout and she looks at me again. I take that as a sign to come and greet her right away. So as she peels off her gloves and two coats and warm boots, I stand and hurry over to her. I remove her shoes for her and help her put on her house slippers I had warming up by the fire. The second she's free from her winter gear, I pull her tight against my body and hug her fiercely. She squeezes me and buries her face in my sweatshirt.

"You smell so good," is the first thing she says. Her teeth are chattering and she's still shivering from the bone chilling Korean winter she just escaped. I don't even let her go before I start walking backwards towards the living room.

"Come on, there's a fire," I tell her, tugging her to sit in a chair next to the mantle to warm up. I wrap a blanket around her and put the mug of not-so-hot hot chocolate into her hand.

I sit on the floor in front of her, my fingers tucking messy baby hairs away from her face and rubbing her knee as she takes little sips of her drink. I simply look at her as she steals glances around the room again. There are so many things to say, and yet no words come forward to be spoken now that I'm finally in her presence. Tan jumps onto Elle's chair and cuddles up beside her. She smiles and pets his head.

"I'm so happy you're here," I tell her, knowing that sentence can't possibly do justice to the feelings swirling around inside my heart.

"I missed you so much," she says. She sets the mug down on the side table and leans forward with her arms out to hug me again. I sit up on my knees and allow her to wrap me up in her blanket. I hold her in my lap as she holds me in her arms and we sit together on the floor. My hand feels her soft hair gathered up in her long ponytail. She smells a little stuffy like the plane, but her natural clean and flowery scent is still there. I tuck my face into her neck to find more of her scent.

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