Soulmate

Thirty Two: Ophelia

December 15, 2019
San Francisco, California

"Are you guys coming over for Christmas Eve again this year?" I ask my two friends. I take a bite of the soup on the table in front of me. It's a little cold. Ara insisted on trying a new restaurant near our university. I'm not too impressed. 

"David and I will try," Rose says. "My parents are thinking of coming to visit from Pasadena this year. They haven't seen us since Violet was born." 

"What about you, Ara?" 

Ara shrugs, picking around at the salad on her plate. "We'll see. I was invited over by somebody already. I haven't given any answers though." 

My brow piques at that. "Who?" 

She clears her throat and Rose and I make eye contact at her strange behavior. 

"Do you remember the day Ronan came to the cafe?" she asks. 

"Yes..." 

Rose drops her fork. "Club guy? You guys ran into club guy and didn't tell me!" 

"Well, before he left that day he slipped me his phone number," Ara continues as if Rose hasn't spoken. 

My eyes widen. "Say what now?" 

"When did this happen!" 

I wave my hand dismissively. "September, October, something like that." 

"TWO MONTHS AND YOU GUYS NEVER TOLD ME? WHAT THE HELL YOU GUYS!" 

Somebody at a nearby table glares at us and I pat Rose's arm to shut her up. 

"We just kind of forgot," I say. "Nothing came of it, we just talked about Jin and that was it. But apparently, Ara gave him her phone number." 

"No," Ara corrects, wagging her finger at me. "No, he gave it to me. Slipped a napkin under my coffee cup when I was in the bathroom." 

"Why would he give you his number?" Rose asks, her face twisted up in confusion. 

Ara just stares at her. 

"No! Not that he shouldn't or that you're ugly or anything, just—You know what, I'm gonna let you talk." 

I raise my brows again and take a drink of my water to keep my laughter from tumbling out. 

"Anyway, it turns out Ronan is my soulmate actually," Ara says plainly. 

The water I was drinking flies out of my mouth onto the table and I start choking. I hack and cough loudly, my hand slamming the table in search of a napkin. 

"Jesus Christ, Ophelia, would you keep it in your mouth?" Ara wipes up my spat out water and tosses it at my face while I'm in the middle of hacking up a lung. "Anyway, yeah when he looked up at me when I pushed him out of my seat it was just like, 'Oh, well, there you go, Ara.'" She shrugs at that. "I wasn't going to call him or anything, but I ran into him not long after that and he asked me out to lunch. 

"Long story short, his mother invited me to celebrate Christmas with them. I don't think I'm gonna go, though." 

"Ara!" Rose exclaims, patting me on the back. "You should go! He seemed like a nice guy." 

"Oh, no, he's really sweet," Ara agrees. "I just don't know that I'm ready to get all settled in a relationship right now." 

"Well, being in a relationship doesn't mean you have to get married," Rose reasons. "David and I did, but you don't have to." 

"We're only twenty-two," I tell her as I gasp for breath. "Nobody's saying you...have to settle." 

"I just have enjoyed the dating scene, you know? I feel like now that I've met my soulmate, the universe is telling me that it's time to commit. Once I show up to Christmas, then I'm coming to birthday parties, New Year's, barbecues, I may as well be married to him by then." 

Rose tilts her head to the side. "There's a little more to it than that." 

"Why don't you talk to him about it?" I continue. "He told me himself he like dating around, too. Just talk to him and tell him that you want to experience more before you start settling. There's no shame in growing and getting to know yourself. I know a little too much about myself these days." 

"Ophelia, why don't you just go?" Ara suggests to change the subject. "Just get a plane ticket and fly off to Seoul." 

"And then what? Stand outside the BigHit building until the police escort me off the property? Yeah, sounds wonderful." 

She snorts. "Okay, not that. We'll think of something, all we have to do is get you there. They moved into their new, big apartment in Hannam the Hill. Maybe we should stand outside the neighborhood." 

"Dear Lord, Ara, we're not gonna harass the poor boys," Rose laughs. "We'll try Jin's restaurant instead," she teases. 

"You two are so irritating," I grumble. "I can't leave my grandmother anyway, so all your plans are foolproof." 

They're both quiet at that and I feel like I can read their thoughts. They don't understand how detrimental it could be to my grandmother's mental state if I were to leave. She relies on consistency to be able to remember things. If she trusts me to be there every single day and then she forgot I was out of the country, she would be terrified. It could go further and she would forget about her own house and be afraid to sleep because she doesn't know where she is. I can't bear the thought of my grandma alone and afraid all because I couldn't wait for Seokjin to find me first. 

"You know, Ophelia, if things were to work out, we all would help take care of Nanna," Rose promises. "She's all of our grandmother. The last thing we want is to hurt her somehow by taking you away from her, but none of us can stand seeing you like this anymore." 

I nearly jump at that. "Seeing me like what? I'm doing fine." 

Ara and Rose make eye contact over the table. 

"I don't mean that you look bad," Rose says, "it just seems like the longer this goes on, the more you become like this shell of yourself. You're quiet, we won't see you for weeks on end because you'll be pouring yourself into homework...you finished the entire semester's coursework for one class in two months. We just want to see you with a passion for life again. This year's been really hard, but I think if we put ourselves out there, we could actually get you to Jin." 

I sigh. I know they're right, but I won't admit that. 

"Will you at least let us start really trying?" Ara asks softly. 

I purse my lips, scooping up a spoonful of soup and dropping it back into the bowl. No doubt it's ice cold by now. 

"I'm willing to try," I confess. "But if it's not working, just leave it be. It always gets more exhausting and upsetting when things don't work." 

The two of them smile and turn back to their food, satisfied for now I guess. I try not to allow myself to daydream too much. It's almost reminiscent as the thoughts of Seokjin and I meeting start to dance through my mind for the first time in nearly a year. The daydreams always make me feel more sad once they fade, but they're so nice in this moment I don't even care that I may cry later tonight over them. 

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