Soulmate

Fifty: Ophelia

a/n: please see the end of the chapter for notes!!

February 26, 2020
Seoul, South Korea

"You're not the only one who feels alone," I say softly.

He still cries, his head falling down onto my chest. I run my fingers through his hair in an attempt to sooth him.

"I told you I live with my grandma. She has dementia so I take care of her and live with her. I moved in with her when I was sixteen because my dad passed away." The emotion from hearing him talk about the past year combined with recalling my dad's death makes me start to choke up. I try to avoid too many details.

Seokjin must be able to sense my emotions. His arms squeeze my body against him to try and comfort me. It only makes me feel more emotional. "I'm so sorry, Ophelia."

"He and my mom weren't soulmates. He actually was born without a tattoo. They started dating casually when they were both in school and she got pregnant with me after they were together a few months later. But not long after I was born, she met her real soulmate and left us to be with him instead. So I've never met my mom before. When I was fifteen, he got really sick and he was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer."

He squeezes me again as I start to sniffle.

"Sorry, I haven't talked about it out loud in so long," I say quietly. "Everyone I know now has known me since back then, so I've never really had to tell anyone about my dad before. But he died only seven months after the diagnoses. It was horrible.

"I grew up with no mom, my dad passed away when I was still growing up, I only had my two friends. I was so lonely after he died. He was my only real friend for my whole life, my best friend. I was a really shy kid and my dad was on the quieter side. We could talk, but I didn't really know how to open up and talk about things I was struggling with. I really regretted not talking to him more after he died."

"You said he was your best friend," Seokjin says softly. "I'm sure he doesn't think you were too quiet with him."

"I just miss him," I sniffle, the tears finally starting to fall. "After he died, I moved in with my grandmother because, you know, she was my only family. Not long after he died, her mental state really started to decline and I took her to get diagnosed by her doctor so I could start a treatment process and give her the best life possible. So now I take care of her and cook for her, make sure she takes her medications, take her to doctor's appointments and things like that. It's been almost four years since we had to start that kind of thing."

"Doesn't that get tiring?" he says as he finally sits up. He reaches up and gently wipes my tears away.

"Of course it does," I cry. "It's exhausting. But if I don't take care of her, who will? I'm all she has, and she's all I have. We're each others' only family. I don't have any other choice and I would rather sacrifice myself than allow her to wither away and die alone."

"What about your mother? Have you ever considered looking for her?"

I sigh in response to that. "Sure, I've thought about it. Her name is on my birth certificate, so I have her information. I've seen her in pictures and things like that. I just don't really have any desire to know her. She didn't want me or want to know me. I've lived in the same house my whole life, I grew up in the house she lived in with my dad. I lived there for sixteen years. If she wanted to find me, she would have. So I can't really bring myself to care enough to find her."

Seokjin's quiet after that. "I wish I could've been with you. You've had it so hard, I wish I could've supported you and helped you through that."

"We've both got our baggage," I sniffle, wiping my nose on the back of my hand. "It's part of when two people come together like this. They've got to sort out their baggage."