Soulmate

Seventeen: Jin

June 30, 2019
Seoul, South Korea

I sigh as I shut the house door behind me. I rest my back against the door, taking a few deep breaths before I untie and remove my shoes.

When I step beyond the entryway and into the living room, I see eight heads curiously turned to look at me.

"Her plane departs in about twenty minutes," I inform them.

No one says anything, and for that I'm grateful. I'm not sure I could handle any comments. I don't even know how I'm feeling. My heart is heavy that it has to be this way for now, that we have to have time apart before we can come together and be better. However, deep down, I know that this is for the best. The situation was weighing on everyone's shoulders, especially mine.

"I think I'm just gonna head to bed early," I say softly.

"Rest well, hyung," Namjoon calls back to me as I make my way down the hallway.

I collapse onto my bed, unsure if I'm angry with Min-hee for pushing me to this limit or calm now that I can really relax with her away. The pillow beside my head still holds the scent of her shampoo and I can't decide if I should bury my face into the plush or toss it aside to be washed.

I wake up often through the night and check my phone for any kind of update. I wonder if she landed, if she got home safe, if she's adjusting to the new time zone. The hardest part of it is I don't know if I really want her to text me or not. I can't decide if I really care or not.

—

July 1, 2019
Seoul, South Korea

Did you land safely?
Sent 8:00

I've flown from Korea to New York countless times. I know I should have a response by now. The paranoia is killing me.

Last night was the first night I've slept alone in almost two full months. I never expected to sleep better with someone who made me miserable.

I still lay in my bed, finding it difficult to get out of bed. I can't decide if I should begin my day and attempt to live through my confusing emotions or if I should stop caring and take a day to not think about anything. I don't want to get up and have to exist like everything is normal for me when nothing is normal at all. I don't want to pretend like there's not a war of indecisiveness waging inside me.

I had the plans to wait for a response. It was only seven in the evening in New York when I first texted her. She should still be awake and her business should be closed by now.

But as the time reaches nine a.m. and I still don't have a response, I give up.

—

July 2, 2019
Seoul, South Korea

Did you land safely?
Read 00:00

—

very short, but v e r y necessary chapter.

notice anything??? 👀

cay💕

503 words