Soulmate

One: Ophelia

April 18, 2019
San Francisco, California

"Oh, honey, I don't know about that pink suit," I say to him.

I watch my soulmate as he hops across a small area of the stage during the choreography for his new song 'Boy with Luv.' I stir my coffee with a spoon, listening to his voice ring beautifully in my ears. It's so unique.

I sit at a table at the corner of the coffee shop, still stirring, carrying him with me in my hand. I continue watching the entire comeback stage and by the end, the pink suit has grown on me. Just a few days ago, he was on the same soil as me, performing the same song on Saturday Night Live. I him along, not yet knowing all of the words, and sing when his parts come. I know his parts. I always know his parts.

It's been nearly six years since he and his tattoo showed up in my life, courtesy of my KPOP loving best friend. Six years with Kim Seokjin, knowing everything I can about him, laughing with him, crying with him, doing everything I can with my soulmate, the man I already love, the man who "wasn't my type" when I was sixteen.

And he has no idea.

My fingers dance lightly over my dots of Orion as I think of him, as I watch him dance flawlessly around the other six men, the other six men who've also found a place in my heart, but not like the place that he has.

His tattoo was exposed accidentally just two months after their debut, causing a massive scandal for his fresh career to ride on. Usually the entertainment industry tries to keep those things away from the public eye. But his, being right over his collarbone, can be hard to hide. Especially since the tattoos don't allow themselves to be covered with makeup.

After his tattoo scandal died down in the media, I felt less self conscious about my own tattoo. My soft fingertips rub at the permanent marks on my body, now out for the world to see. His are covered by the white dress shirt he wears beneath his pink jacket, but I want to see them. I want to see the dark flecks of coal stand out on his snowy pale skin, the dark flecks that match me. I want him to see me.

"Ophelia!"

My head snaps up to face the door of the coffee shop as Rose stumbles into the building, carrying a baby car seat in her arm.

"Oh my God, Rose, give me the baby," I tell her. I take the car seat from her arms and she looks at me both apologetically and gratefully.

"Thank you. I'm gonna get myself a coffee. Mama needs it."

"Yes, you do that. We'll be here waiting for you."

She scurries over to the counter to place her order. My eyes lower to the tiny head in the seat, cradled by a cushion and a pink blanket. I smile as the baby yawns, opening her big, blue eyes from her nap to see me.

Her face crumples immediately as she starts to cry, the loud, shaky, unstable cry of a newborn baby.

I panic and unbuckle her and lift her carefully from the seat so she can cry on my shoulder. I bounce her light body in my arms, patting her back and hushing her. After only a moment, she's calm when in the arms of someone familiar.

"Oh, I just know it," I tell her in my baby voice. "The car seat is just terrible, it's awful. Baby prison." She coos a single cry into my ear. "Oh, I know. I know it."

I pull her away from my shoulder, lay her in my arms, and look into her large, nosy eyes. I smile at her curious face which is patchy and red from crying.

Her mother, my best friend, sits down in the chair across from me with a huff. "Did she wake up?"

I shake my head, not taking my eyes off Rose's beautiful baby girl. "She's fine. We're just hangin."