Will You Love Me?

Chapter 28

It's only been five minutes, but for you and Ben it seems like it's been hours already. You tried to distract your thoughts with a book, or your iPad, while Ben tried to get his mind away with the Sherlock Series 4 script.

Both your phones kept chiming from friends and family wanting updates, but all you could tell them was that she was still in surgery. They had monitors with the patient's names and updates of their surgery. Ben would wander over and look at Em's name every five minutes.

When it got to around seven, he decided to try and get you both to eat something. Much to his dismay, you didn't touch your food. You drank some water and coffee, but you didn't eat.

"Sweetheart, you need to keep up your strength for Em when she pulls through," he told you softly, while taking your hand. You sighed and attempted to eat, but you felt like you would throw it up if you took just one bite. "I can't," you told him with a broken voice. "Maybe later." 

You never ate "later" because you had fallen asleep in one of the chairs. Ben was chewing on his nails and staring at his desktop picture on his laptop. It was his favorite picture of you, him and the kids. Of course, in the picture, the boys were clinging to you, as Emma was to Ben. Being the only girl couldn't be easy, but she always found solace in her father. She always saw him as her armor. 

Sleep claimed Ben in a matter of minutes after staring at the screen for too long. Suddenly, he was jolted awake from a soft nudge on his shoulder. He wiped the sleep from his eyes and looked up to see Dr. Levi standing in front of you both. Ben gently shook you awake, but your reaction was much quicker than his. You immediately stood up, almost loosing your balance, and asked, "How is she?" 

 Dr. Levi sighed and told you, "Ben, [Y/N]...We discovered something in the middle of the surgery. Emma doesn't have just any general heart defect. I'm afraid over the course of these past few weeks, she's developed a hole between the upper chambers of her heart. Now, this is called Atrial Septal Defect. Luckily, we caught it early, but we need to patch up the hole. I cannot do it without your consent." 

You took a tight grip of Ben's hand, as he told Dr. Levi, "Y-Yes, of course. What...what will you have to do?" Dr. Levi explained how he will have to stop Emma's heart in order to follow through, but she will have machines to help her keep breathing. "This procedure would usually take less time, but...I'm afraid...her lungs are almost filled with blood. We need to drain it out without getting her to loose any blood. Like I said, this developed quickly and it will keep developing if nothing is done by today." 

"Please, save my baby," you cried. "Do whatever you have to, just make sure she can come home!" Ben lightly shushed you and gathered you into his arms. Dr. Levi looked to him and received a nod. After that, Dr. Levi quickly disappeared behind the closed doors. 

Ben helped you sit back down and comforted you until you fell asleep from exhaustion. Ben stayed wide awake and thought about everything that was happening. You've only been here an hour and you've gotten worse news instead of better. What if the news just keeps getting worse and worse and worse?

Letting these thoughts get to his head, Ben stood up and walked through the maze of hospital walls. He didn't know where he ended up, nor did he care. He was alone like he needed to be. He let out a shaky sob and leaned back against the wall. He knows Em could be in a worse situation like some kids here are, but this was his daughter and what she is going through right this very moment, is the scariest thing Ben can think of. 

He put one hand over his eyes and cried into it, while the other hand held on to the lamb in his large jacket pocket. This was not how he imagined his life if he were to ever be a parent. He knew he would have to deal with injuries and scrapes on the knees because that's what kids get into. But he never imagined having to pray to the high heavens that his three-year-old daughter would survive a heart surgery.