By Your Side

The Pain no one understands

Samairaa and Karishma were sitting quietly eating there food. Karishma looked at Samairaa while eating as if she wants something to vent out. Her heart and mind were in battle which were causing her pain, she never want to experience.
After fifteen minutes Karishma broke the silence.

KS- Tumhe lagta hai hum isliye naraz hai ki PhuspaJi ne hume vote nai Diya.
Galat soch Rahi ho tum.
Hume iss baat se farak nai pada ki unhone kisi aur ko choose Kiya
Bura hume iss baat ka laga, ki unhone kabhi humare laggan, humari mehnat, humara pyaar nai dekha.
Chot hume iss baat ki lagi hai.
Kya fayda unke saath rehne ka, yaa kaam karne ka. Humne khud ko prove Kiya par jab kisi ne nai dekha, toh hum kyu aur kare?
Kya puri zindgi hum aise hi khud ko saabit karta beeta de?
Har waqt koi aata hai hume asaksham keh deta hai aur hum usse galat prove karne mai lag jaate hai.
Pta hai, hum thak chuke hai. Hume khud ke liye ab bura lagta hai. Hum dosti nibhate hai, wahan thokar khaa jaate hai, hum kisi ko apna maante hai, wahan paraye jaise vayhaar (behaviour) hone lag jaata hai.
Kabhi kabhi lagta hai, Hume bhi chodh dena inn sab ko. Par nai woh bhi nai hota. Kyuki chahe jitna bhi humara dil dukhe, hum jaante hai, yeh sab humse pyaar karte hai.
Hume nai samajh Mai aata log humse chahte kya hai? Infact hume toh yeh bhi nai samjh aa raha hum khud se kya chah rahe hai. Khud se nafrat karne lagey hai hum. Lagta hai doshi hum hi hai.
Ek khilona jo sab use karte hai, aur phir kahin phek kar chale jaate hai.
Kis liye aaye hai hum?
Kya kar rahe hai hum apni jindagi ke saath?
Aur kab tak yeh sab chalega?

Yeh saare sawal humare dimaag ko khokhla kar rahe hai. Humara dimaag kharab ho chuka hai, Samairaa.

Sab kuch haathon se kaise phisal Raha hai. Hum kya the aur ab kya ban chuke hai.
Hume....

Karishma felt her heart pounding, and a wave of anxiety washed over her, leaving her feeling dizzy and overwhelmed. Her breath quickened as her thoughts raced uncontrollably. The room seemed to close in around her, and she struggled to focus on anything else but the feeling of panic consuming her.

As her anxiety intensified, she felt a wave of dizziness, causing her vision to blur and her legs to wobble beneath her. She tried to steady herself, but her body felt weak, and her knees gave out. Karishma bends down and the plate from her hand falls down. Samairaa rushed to her side, calling out her name, but it sounded muffled as if coming from a distance.
The world around Karishma began to fade as her consciousness slipped away. Her body grew limp, and she collapsed into the arms of Samairaa . Samairaa's other hand feels numb. She couldn't process what was going on. She tapped Karishma's cheeks and shook her body to keep her awake. But nothing worked for her as Karishma's health kept destabilising. 

SV- Leader! Leader utho. Aakhein band mat karo, stay calm. Please stay calm. Mai hun idhar, please... Ruko mai ek baar doctor ko call karun, aap chinta mat karna mai bas phone lekar aa rahi. Please. Stay with me. Okay.

Even though Samairaa tried her best to stay normal, her nervousness was totally visible on her face. Her voice was totally scared. She tried speaking with much difficulty, but she did so to assure Karishma.

Samairaa lowered her to the ground, trying to keep her comfortable and conscious and called for ambulance, she stayed with her talking gibberish until medical help arrived.

In that moment of vulnerability, Samairaa realized the importance of Karishma.
Samairaa stayed with her until the doctor took her inside the ward for a checkup. Samairaa stood at the door, looking at Karishma, who was lying lifeless in front of her. The doctor and wardboys were trying their best to look at and understand the situation and bring her consciousness back. Samairaa looked at everything with deep nervousness in her heart. She could feel her heartbeat, which is pumping loudly yet too slowly. Her eyes once again became moist, and her throat became dry and sore.
Samairaa closed her eyes in fear, she took deep breaths to calm herself down but everything is in vain, as Karishma's panicked face flashed infront of her. She resolved to address her anxiety and prioritize her mental well-being. This experience would become a turning point in her life, pushing her towards self-discovery and a newfound strength in facing her fears. This time, Karishma was chosen for her.