THE ART OF SITUATIONSHIP (18+) (soc)

Chapter 29

I don't know if he realized that I am the teacher of his child. Noong isang araw, araw ng linggo, Amaia told his father to say hi to me but I automatically and purposely leave the meet. For the reason that I don't want to meet and see him again, nor hear his voice again. But after a moment I go back because I still have a class no matter what.

Amaia did ask me why I suddenly left the meeting but I reasoned out that I lost my connection. And I thought she bought that reason, she said her daddy did say hi to me after that her daddy leaves her to go grab her a snack.

Mabuti nalang pala no at online akong nagtuturo kung hindi magkikita na naman kami! We met in unexpected way before, so it's quite unexpected to hear his voice in my online class. Who would've thought that I am the art teacher of his child?

Tonight, I am just staring in the canvas I am painting. My wip or work in progress for a couple of months now. There in my canvas is the colors of the sunset red, orange, yellow, purple, and pinkish hues.

Even though how many times I convinced my self that this is not the same scene that we used to look at before. How many times I change the color palette of the sunset but it's no used because I keep going back to the image that is already painted in my mind.

I decided to just go with the flow, whatever my mind commands me to do and here I am again drafting the same Basco Lighthouse. I shook my head.

This is not the end I envisioned when I offered him the contract. I thought a simple goodbye would be enough. I thought it was not as painful at it is. I thought I can let him go that easily. Well, I did. I let him go but he still occupied my mind for one and a half years now.

Although I am busy and purposely throw my self in work, there are times, when I about to sleep, especially when scrolling my phone he still appears in my mind. He even visited me in my dreams sometimes.

How funny that he stays in the part of me for a long time when we personally meet in person for not even a couple of months. A couple of months wouldn't be enough to personally know the person in fact.

Simula noon, nung hinatid ko siya sa airport yun na yung huling communication namin, I didn't answer all of his calls and text messages. I didn't block him, fyi. Kasi sabi ko titigil din siya pag napagod na at tama nga ako. Pagkatapos ng isang buwang pangungulit niya tumigil na rin siya kalaunan.
How immature I am before because I just unfollow him on his Facebook account.

"Hays, tama na nga." Nasapo ko nalang ang ulo ko. Hindi ko na dapat iniisip pa siya. Eh ano naman kung may ginawa kaming mali? Mas malaki pa rin ang kasalanan niya dahil linoko niya ako pinaniwala niya akong single siya at tinago niya sa akin ang katotohanan.  And the fact na masyado akong naapektuhan at naguilty, pinagsisihan ko na naman yun. Isinimba at pinangkumpisalan ko pa kay father yun.

Pero hindi ko rin maiwasang isipin na, nagsisi din kaya siya sa panloloko sa akin, sa pamilya niya? I wonder also kung alam ba nang partner or asawa niya? Kung iniisip din pa ba niya ako?

No! What the hell? Anong namang tanong yan Kadie?! Ang mahalaga hindi tuluyang nasira ang pamilya niya. Napasinghap ako ng mahaba habang tulala sa wip ko. Inilibot ko ang mga mata sa working place ko, ibang-iba sa pinagtatrabahuhan ko at sa condo ko sa Manila dati. Dito I have my own working place yung isang kwarto na hindi na nagagamit pinarenovate ko, good thing at malawak. Siyempre I do asked permission to my mom. Sa kanya yung bahay eh.

Actually, it looks like a mini exhibit sa dami ng paintings na nakasabit at ng mga unfinished paintings ko. White lang ang pintura ng apat na sulok ng dingding, samantala yung isang dingding na dati ay semento ngayon ay pinagawa kong glass. May sliding door din para sa garden at pool na nasa harapan nitong art space ko. Pinalagyan ko rin ng carpet na paint resistance para pagkumalat ang pinta eh madali ko itong makuha or mapunasan.