♪: why'd you only call me when you're high- arctic monkeys
i looked in the mirror, admiring the way i looked before heading out to sungchan's party.
i heard the sound of his car honk, signaling me that he's here, i grabbed my purse and house keys and walked out the door making sure to lock it behind me.
we listened to music while we were on our way to his house.
"has he called you yet?" sungchan said as he took a glimpse of me and looking back at the road. i rolled my eyes and replied "not yet, thankfully, he hasn't for about a week actually, maybe he's sober now"
he laughed, knowing damn well he won't be sober for long. "we'll see tonight, he's gonna be there you know? and we're gonna smoke sooo, don't expect a call, expect a talk with him" he said as he patted my back. "oh please, i won't even look his way" he laughed, knowing damn well i'm lying too.
as we walked in the party i clung into sungchan's arm since big crowds scare me and i barely had any friends besides our little group, which eunseok was unfortunately in. we walked outside and sat down to drink and smoke a little, you see we prefer being all together even if it's a party, there was people inside, in the pool, everywhere. once the weed hit me a little i excused myself to go to the restroom, still no signs of eunseok.
as i was walking through the hallway which was empty due to sungchan being very strict about no random people in the rooms of the dorms. of course he gave his friends and myself the green light to use the restrooms upstairs because it's less traffic. as soon as i walked in the restroom i felt someone push me in and close the door, locking it behind him. i looked up to surprisingly meet eyes with eunseok. "what the fuck do you think you're doing?" i said as i pushed his chest a little, trying to push him back but he didn't budge. "i've been looking for you as soon as i saw you walk into the party, you've been a little too close to sungchan don't you think? clinging onto him like he's your bodyguard or something" he said as he rolled his eyes. "umm??" i laughed "since when does that concern you? last time i checked it's non of your business who i hang out with"
now it was his turn to laugh. "says who?" he said as he inched closer to me, i could smell the mixture of weed and alcohol in his breath & i just knew what really was going on. He's too intoxicated to even know what he's saying or doing. "look Eunseok, i'm not gonna argue with you in this state, just go to your room to sleep or something, i have nothing to talk about with you right now" i rolled my eyes and turned around to walk out of the restroom but he pulled my arm, making my chest crash with his.
"dude why do you always run away from me?" he said in a low voice, almost a whisper. "run away? i'm simply leaving because there's nothing to say" the nervousness slowly creeping up to my cheeks. "you're high, you literally only speak to me when you're high, all those calls, all those texts, it's only when you're high. why would i want to have a conversation with you in that state" i said as i looked him in the eyes but quickly looked away once his eyes met mine. "look, i- i don't know how to say this and it might be weird but this is the only state that allows me to talk to you, otherwise i trip and stumble on my words, it's been so long and i don't know how you can't see how much i like you" he said as he didn't keep his eyes away from mine. the realization hit me and all i could think to do was leave. i opened the door and quickly walked out, running to find the rest of the boys & to my luck, i bumped into sungchan. "woah woah woah, where are you running to?" he said as all i could do was hide my face in his chest in embarrassment. "why are you so red? are you okay? what's wrong?" he said as he caressed my back in hopes to comfort me. i was honestly at a loss of words, everything just happened so fast. the guy i've liked for so long told me he liked me.
sungchan took me to his room, where i explained the whole situation & asked for advice on what i should do. "well you know, i think that we should make him jealous, he mentioned my name, so clearly he feels some type of way over me and you so, just so that you can see the way he reacts when he's sober, let's wait a little and let's get to work" he said as he nudged my shoulder and laughed. i agreed because i was curious too & i really did wanna know what would happen.
we walked out of his room and to my luck, once again, i met yes with the tall honey brown haired boy. the first thing his eyes went to were sungchan's and i's interlocked fingers. sungchan dragged me to the dance floor where he put his arms on my waist and pulled me closer to him. from afar i could see eunseok and he looked PISSED. as if he was a time ticking bomb that could explode in any second, and this just made my adrenaline raise more and more.
sungchan leaned into me and whispered "i'm going to pretend to kiss you right now, just go with the flow but don't worry because he'll come and interrupt before my lips touch yours" i nodded and i felt him pull me closer to him, making both of our bodies touch, and as soon as i felt his breath on my lips, i felt a strong hand grab my wrist and pull me away with force. as we were walking to his room i smiled to myself but quickly wiped it off my face because i didn't want him to notice how much i was enjoying this. "eunseok what the f-" "no YOU what the fuck?! why- w- do you like him?? why didn't you just tell me?? i would've shut the fuck up and let you two be" he said.
"for fucks sake eunseok, i don't need to tell you who i like and who i don't like, maybe if you weren't such a pussy who only talked to me when you were high then may-" "shut the fuck up" he said as he pushed me against his door. and i couldn't help but feel heat rush to my cheeks. i was trying to hide the effect he had on me but with every running second it kept getting harder and harder to pretend. "no, if you really liked me you wouldn't be so scared" he put his hands on the door beside my head, trapping me in between. "are you sure i'm the one who's scared? because i sense a little tension coming from you right now" he said as he raised his eyebrow and tried to hide his smirk when he noticed that i couldn't say anything back. "what happened love? cat got your tongue? or am i making you nervous?"
"so what if i'm nervous eunseok?" i said as i tried to keep my confidence so that i wouldn't keep feeding his ego. "what are you gonna do about it?" the smile on his face wiped away and he was now close enough so that i could feel his breath on my lips. "you're playing a dangerous game right now, just tell me to stop and i will" he said as he looked from my eyes down to my lips and god that was all it took. "i don't want you to stop" and i didn't even let him react before i was pulling him from his shirt and crashing my lips onto his. the kiss was passionate and it felt like something inside me exploded, like the time ticking bomb inside me that has been waiting to burst for months, finally did. "god you don't know how much i've waited for this" he said as he separated himself from my lips as i pushed him onto the bed and straddled his lap. it's like i couldn't even control my own moves. "just shut the fuck up" i said as i tried to ignore the feelings i was feeling right now, as if i didn't feel the exact way he did.
