a second chance | gwen stacy x fem! reader

12: Never Turn Back

A tear rolls down Gwen's eye as she clenches her teeth, her expression softening, and yet she stays silent, unable to reason herself to me. Quietly and hopefully waiting for her answer, I close my eyes, trying to calm down and anticipating myself. After a few moments, Gwen runs a hand through her hair. "Please.. I can't do this without you." She asks with a large crack to her voice.

I sigh as another tear drops to the floor. "Why? Why do you need me one second and then the other... you toss me away." I say with a somber but calm voice, wiping my eye with my palm. Gwen sighs, beginning to pace around the room. "I never meant to make you feel like that... I never want you to feel like that. I-I just have no idea how to not mess things up with people I care about." Gwen places her hands around her nose.

I cross my arms, slowly turning back around. My half-closed eyes continue to stare at the floor as I notice Gwen's growing panic. She places her hands down at her side, clenching her fist. "But you have to understand. This.. is who I am." Gwen looks at her mask, tightly holding it. "If I don't do this, then I can't be.. Spiderwoman." She holds out her mask to me.

"I can't choose between you and everything that I've worked for and stand for. This other side of me is the ONLY thing keeping the city safe." Gwen lowers her hands, slowly moving her eyes up towards me. "Keeping you safe." She says with a calm and more quiet voice. Gwen turns to the side, standing firm.

"I have to do this, but.. I want you there by my side because you're the only.. only person who understands who I really am." Gwen sighs determinedly as I close my eyes, trying to process her words. I bite my lip. "I really.. want to support you, but you can't.. ask me to watch my best friend die." I shake my head, giving a small and sad smile as Gwen's eyes glance up and down at me.

"What would your dad think?" I shrug a little, biting my lip. Gwen shakes her head, continuing to pace around. "Do you think he'd be okay with you doing this? If he knew-" Gwen interrupts me with a tremble in her voice. "H-He.." She sighs loudly. "He'd put me behind bars, Y/N. That's how fixed he is on his job and doing whatever he's told." Gwen waves her hands around in frustration as my expression softens.

"But what I'm doing is different. I'm doing what's needed to be done." Gwen clenches her teeth, putting a hand to her chest. I press my lips together, stepping forward. "And.. at what cost?" I stop in front of Gwen, both of us looking at each other.

"I don't understand you, Gwen. You say that I do, but.. I don't. You want me around, but when I stay.. IF I stay, I get hurt. We both do, in one way or another." I gently grab her hands, holding them in mine as I ponder. "They were right.."

Gwen's eyes widen and glisten with tears as her face scrunches. "I.. I won't make you choose. And I also won't make it hard for you." I slide my hands away from her as I step back. Her eyes remain on the ground.

"I'm handing in my resignation for this project, tomorrow. So, I won't hold you back anymore, okay?" My voice begins to crack up. I give Gwen a quick but sad smile as it turns into a frown. "You already know everything there is to know, and.. you clearly know what you want to do."

I take a deep breathe out, tearing up again. "Gwen, you're the strongest person I know. You always keep going, no matter how hard it is. But.. I'm not brave like you. I'm... too scared to be with you." I press my lips together as Gwen stands still, unmoving as she looks to the side while clenching the mask in her hand and biting her lip.

"Gwen.." After a few moments, I try to step forward, reaching out my hand to Gwen but she quickly puts her mask on. We gaze at each other for a few seconds as she stares into my tear-filled eyes. She then puts her hood on, swinging out of the window.