Quick Shift

Chapter 17; Alayna

The past few days were awful. I could never wish this type of pain on anyone. The only one I would talk to was Addie. Maybe it was a twin thing, or maybe I knew we had both been hurt over the past weeks. She let Marcus free, he pleaded with her, but she let him go, and rejected her own mate. I've avoided my own mate like the plague though, I was embarrassed about my outburst at that retched house. However it wasn't all untrue.  

I laid there, sometimes crying, sometimes letting the empty void fill me and send me into a silence and unhealthy thought. Silence seemed to be the easiest place to hide. I could stay there and no one would find me there. It was some sort of save haven. 

It's 2:45 in the morning and I'm feeling lost in the forsaken world again. All of my ambition has been drained. I haven't eaten a meal since I originally came back. Participation in conversation and of life in general has become a day to day affliction and that's not all. 

The voices speak to me. They tell me that Kam can be saved. And I'm just afraid that they're wrong. I get up and move for my shower. That might help.  

I see my phone light up from the corner of my eye and I read the text flashing on the screen. "Layne, I can't take this anymore, I'm coming over." I look away from the phone and turn the water on. 

The showers have gotten longer and hotter it's the only way the sting of my heart is somehow lifted. And one day the steaming water will melt away my flesh and they'll dig me out as a collapsed skeleton in the bottom of the drain, slowly but surely deteriorating from the inside out. Like Kamren, right now. At the moment.  

The thought of her causes my chest to scream in agony.  

"Layne, im not okay, help me, you have to." The body of Kamren appears at my feet. A bloodied, rotting corpse of my best friend appears at my feet, staining the floor in crimson, calling for help in her final breaths.  

"How Kam? How do I save you?" I begged, my eyes stinging, threatening tears. 

"The pills." Her raspy voice whispered. She pointed an unsteady hand toward my medicine cabinet, my eyes following her gaze, just before she disappeared. 

Slowly I move the mirror open, my eyes landing on pain medication from freshmen year when I suffered from migraines. I put the bottle on the sink counter. Closed the mirror and began writing my final message. 

'I'm sorry, please don't hate me. This will save Kam. XO, A' 

I fiddled with the cap of the bottle. My hands were shaking with impatience, my whole body longed to get out of my skin. To escape day to day life. To be free. To feel so etching other then a punch in the chest or a hallow shell of myself. To save a life and sacrifice my own. 

I heard the front door open. Hopefully he wouldn't come in. The water was still running, he would respect that right? Hopefully I can do as fate suggested and let Kam live. They took the wrong one and now I would make that right. 

I opened the bottle with soapy hands I pored the contents of the bottle into my palm. The twenty-one white capsules mocked me. Looking at me, telling me I couldn't do it.  

I lifted the pills to my mouth.  

Alright Alayna, quick and easy, then you'll be okay. You won't feel it. 

The knock on the door sent the contents of my hand onto the floor. That knock sent my swollen eyes to tears as I realized what I was about to do. That knock sent my mate into a frenzy as he took the locked door off of its hinges. He looked at me wide eyed as I collapsed on the floor, hyperventilating and crying hysterically.  

He instantly picked me up onto my feet and held me as I bawled my eyes out. His arm wrapped around my waist firmly, his mouth whispering that it would be okay, his rough hand caressing my head.