Concrete hell

Chapter 17

Tw ⚠️ : ed
Atsushi's pov :

They finished eating and sat back on the couch doing their own things .
"Atsushi don't forget what we talked about a few weeks ago ok , why were you kicked out this time ?"
"I didn't know the answer and he got really mad at me "
"Pay more attention "
"Whatever , I'm gonna take a shower "
"Wait I need to pee "
Dazai ran upstairs and slammed the door .

Dazais pov :
He died actually have to pee he was double checking the bathroom .
Taking out some razors that were on the side .

"All yours Atsushi "

He walked downstairs and threw them away .
"You have to give him some credit Osamu "
"I'm just doing as she said , I'm Keeping him safe chuuya "
Dazai sat next to chuuya and read over his shoulder of the book he was reading .
"Is he gonna talk to miss humble ?"
"Yes Ryu he starts Monday "
Akutagawa nodds and sighed with relief .
"Is there a reason he didn't eat anything today akutagawa ?"
Dazai is a bit worried Atsushi's skipping meals again .
"Well he missed break as he was with you and then um - we were on the roof . He did eat one thing"
"Oh alright then "

Akutagawa's walked upstairs .
"Do you think their dating chuuya ?"
"Not yet , Ryu would have told me"
"Atsushi doesn't tell me anything-"
Tw ⚠️:
Atsushi's pov :

Tears streamed down his fash blending in with the shower water as he looked at his body .
He doesn't even know why but everytime het starts weeping .
Things have gotten better as he's eating but the guilt is the same or even worse .

Realising he's been in there a while so he gets out and walks to his room forgetting akutagawa was there .
"Are you crying ? "
"No I got soap in my eyes and it burns like hell "
"What an idiot "
Akutagawa leaves so he can get dressed .
He pulled out a book from under his mattress , he's been keeping a log of all the things he's eaten and how bad he feels afterwards .

Today - break  4/10 - dinner 9/10
Tw ⚠️ over :
Akutagawa walked back in so he threw it under his pillow .
"What was that ?"
"Nothing "
"No show me "
"No it was - porn "
Akutagawa started .
"Where'd you get it ?"
"Shop "
"Why ?"
He cannot believe he's saying this .
"To - wank "
Akutagawa was fighting back a smirk .
"Alright , do warn me I don't want to walk in on that "
"Ok sorry "
The door closed and he layed back and sighed .

Akutagawa's pov :
He couldn't help but laugh so when he went downstairs the two were a bit shocked .
"You good Ryu ?"
He nodded and sat down .
"why are you laughing , are you and Atsushi getting along ?"
"Sure "
"Oh god what's he done now ? "
"don't think you want to know dazai "
"Why has he hurt himself ?"
"No nothing like that "
"Then what ?"
"I can't I'm sorry - "
He started laughing again .
"Ryu your kinda scaring me here , what's he done ?"
"He was looking at porn or something then he hid it "
Dazai started cackling .
"Really ? Oh god explained the sock I found a few weeks ago "
"Found the other when I moved in"
They were all laughing till Atsushi appears in the room .
"You ok Atsushi ?"
"Yes dazai are you ?"
"Yes , but go wash your hands "
"Why ?"
"Because now go "