What The Heart Wants (ON HOLD)

Prolouge

9pm

Where is he?

I had been sitting in our bed since he texted me at 6:30, telling me he'd be back from work in an hour. I tried to shrug it off and began to rub my sore legs. Cedric should be here rubbing my legs, kissing on me, making sure I'm good. Then again, it could be the hormones talking.

While drifting to sleep my phone rang, indicating someone wanted to FaceTime me. Seeing Ced's contact, I answer almost immediately. All I see is a figure shrouded in darkness. A feminine voice followed,

"While you're all alone with your bastards, your man is right here," she turned the camera showing a sleeping Cedric next to her.

"He'll always be right here, bitch. Don't let your fat ass forget it."

Before I could respond, she hung up the call. I wanted to cry so badly, but there's no point in that. I just sucked it up and started packing my things.

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I waited until 3am for him to come home. I can't deal with this shit anymore. I'm tired, stressed out, alone, and just plain over it. Staying with him was a bad idea from the gate, but I didn't object because I thought he would be there.

But I was wrong.

Hearing his car pull up in the driveway, I drag my suitcases to the door. The muscles in my back were fighting against me with every step I took. I heard the click of the locks and sat down on the couch preparing myself for the thousandth time.

The door creaked open slowly, revealing a disheveled Cedric. He looked around, trying not to be too loud.

"Hey," I call calmly.

He abruptly faces me as if he's seen a ghost.

"Hey baby."

"Come sit down."

He sulks over to the couch like a child, being cautious about each movement. When he sits next to me, I smell the odor of rum and cheap Bath and Body works. Spotting the hickeys on his neck, I feel the tears well up in my eyes.

"Is it me ?"

He looks into my eyes with guilt.

"Is it my weight, the kids, just tell me what it is and I'll fix it because I need to know why Ced !"

"Lei, don't cry baby."

The room is plagued with silence for what seems like hours until I hear a deep breath.

"It's not you, I just can't help it. I'm still young and I didn't ask for all of this. This isn't what I thought my life would be like."

"I didn't agree to this either, but I'm gonna have to go on with or without you..."

"What does that mean ?"

I pause for a moment before responding,

"Ced, I'm leaving..."

"No you're not, Leila."

He continued his attempts to persuade me to stay. I can no longer deal with the lies, the cheating, and the complete disregard for our relationship. We have two children on the way, but I refuse to raise them in this environment. I work, cook, clean, and do all that is asked of me while Cedric goes from work, to parties, and does everything else in between when he should be at home with his family.

When we met in college he was so different. We were joined at the hip and nothing could stand in our way. Even when our jobs would keep us away from each other, we stayed resilient. He was overjoyed when he found out I was pregnant with our boys. Then, after a while things changed.

Now, I'm 7 months pregnant and once again listening to his bullshit stories. This is the second time he's cheated on me. I know I might sound dumb for taking him back the first time, but I love him.

Yea, I said it. I love Ced but he's a dog. If he won't change for me and his kids, then fuck him.

I walk outside as he walks behind me still continuing his rant. I put the suitcases in my car and close the trunk. He places his hands on my shoulders, still fussing about my attempts to ignore him. I'm surprised he hasn't woken up the entire neighborhood.

Turning around, I mush his head against the door. I'm doing everything in my power not to continue to lay hands on him.

"Save it, I'm done. Don't come looking for me. Don't call me or text me unless it pertains to your children. Otherwise, explain your story to someone who gives a fuck."

I get in as he stands silently in the driveway. I start the car and pull out of the driveway. Driving down Bourbon Street makes me realize how far I've come from my little shack in East Orange. Memories of parties, parades, and concerts flooded my mind. I may never dance again, but everything was good while it lasted.

I guess now I'm going wherever my babies take me......

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New story, I hope it turns out okay....