What The Heart Wants (ON HOLD)

Chapter 9

Top to Bottom, L to R: Leila, Ant, Cedric & Heather; Cedric, Sr. and Jamal, Ced and Rico (for next chapter)

I skipped to the cookout b/c I feel like the story's moving kinda slow.

(Then again, it's only chapter 9...)

1 week later...

Leila

"Lord, I ask that you give me strength today. I know we haven't spoke in a minute, but I'm really trying to do everything in my power to ensure that I don't act a plum fool at this gathering. I would hate for my children to see their mother snatch their granny's edges and get carried off to jail. I know I'm the realest out, but I'm not real enough for jail. You know what happened to Tia and she was only in for a few weeks. So, just give me all the strength, kindness, and mercy at your disposal because I need every ounce in your inventory. In Jesus' name, Amen."

"Mommy, you are so extra."

Tia giggles, "Baby, your mommy has always been extra."

"Both of y'all can hush. Are you two ready to go?"

"We all ready to go. Uncle Mal is taking all day!"

Shaking my head, I yell, "Jamal, hurry up!"

I watch as he pokes his head out of the room. "Who's driving? Me? Oh, okay."

Watching him disappear around the corner, he exits the room and comes down the stairs.

"Everybody ready?"

"Yes, for the pass ten minutes," says Malachi.

"It's "past" little niglet. Now let's go."

He walks out of the door with the twins as Tia and I followed suit.

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As we were riding to the cookout, I tried to keep my mind occupied. I wanted to text Anthony, but he said he had somewhere to be today...

I know y'all nosey asses want some tea on that matter...

Basically, we took the kids to the park and got them some ice cream. While they played around, we got to discuss what we enjoy doing outside of being parents. It's only been a week, but I have fun spending time with him. He makes me laugh at the smallest things and he's so easy to talk to. I was really uneasy about how the boys would react, but they like him a lot. Well, Malachi's still coming around. Whenever we're with each other, I get this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach and it scares me because I want us to be strictly platonic. I know I said I was going to get past it, but I'm terrified of being hurt again.

"Leila!"

I turn, seeing Jamal wait next to the open car door.

"Huh?"

"I said, "We're here,". You've been sitting there staring off into space for a good five minutes. You okay?"

"I'm fine, Jamal. Just thinking about some things..."

"Well, come on. You're not about to sit in here and stink up my car."

I punch him in his arm before getting out.

Closing the door behind me, I hear old school music coming from the backyard. As my palms sweat, my mind concocts multiple excuses I could have for leaving right now. Hell, three miles back to my house isn't all that far. I'm trying to get my legs right anyway.