Her Thoughts

SOCIAL PHOBIA

July 11 2023 

Yesterday night, My friend Christina asked me if she can borrow my nude fitted dress, earlier today I walked in the street wearing a red tube with a nude blazer and blue shorts. On my way to their house, I passed the busy sidewalk and I thought my anxiety attacked me. Sweat formed on my forehead down to my face, I also wanted to hide because I assumed people kept on staring at me. Those symptoms are caused by my social phobia.

According to research, Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is a long-term and overwhelming fear of social situations. It's a common problem that usually starts during the teenage years. It can be very distressing and have a big impact on your life. For some people, it gets better as they get older. I discovered this mental illness when I was quarantined because of COVID-19. I thought I was just an introvert but little did I know I was developing this kind of mental condition. I hate crowded places, I always overthink/assume things, I just think people judged me all the time. I was fighting my condition for 3 years already, and now in my 20s, I can tell that I already have the urge to keep myself mentally stable and fight for my phobias. I just hoped that the next time I'll be passing a crowded place I have the confidence to face them. Having social anxiety is not easy especially if you are unaware that you are already having it.

I went to work after giving my nude dress to Christina we bid our goodbyes and thank you. I am working in a convenience store as a cashier, There's nothing special about it, you just have to sit and wait for a customer to pay for their goods. At first, it was hard having a phobia and working, I was shy and scared and I felt different emotions but the good thing about working? aside from that I can earn, It also helped me from my phobia because I can socialize with different people.

I went home at 7:30 pm I cook rice first then went to the market to buy some vegetables, I just feel like cooking some dinner, random thought I guess. After buying, I prepared everything and started cooking. I cooked the cabbage and carrots with egg and sauce. It is yummy :)(Ps: Cooking is my talent, I'll cook for you next time ;))

I ate dinner with my sister and her boyfriend, they bought cup noodles so it was a good dinner after all. I changed into my night dress after taking a half bath, I prayed then sleep for tomorrow is another day.

Author's Message: 

For those who have social phobia like me, just believe in yourself, believed and have the confidence and faith that you can fight it. It doesn't matter how long it takes to be free from it, what matters is that you are helping yourself to be freed from that kind of illness.

(Author's note: Thank you for reading :) I'm proud of you.)

(THIS IS MY FIRST CHAPTER AND NAAY WRONG GRAHAMS BUT DLI NAKO SYA E EDIT KAY I WANT TO SEE IF NAA KOY IMPROVEMENT SA PAGSULAT MUWAH)