"AYAW PASAKIT-SAKIT DIRA KAY WATAY KWARTA" the ever famous line I have heard in my whole life. I was not born in a golden/silver spoon, but my father strived to provide our needs. When I was a child we used to have anything we want, from the dress, the toys, all material things that we can afford. Ever since my parents separated everything was gone.
We eat twice a day, no snacks, no expensive vian, just canned foods. And ever since, I started to understand life at the age of 12. That was also the time where I stopped going to church. I just don't have the reason to go to. We barely eat, barely dress, barely live. The biggest challenge when you lack of finances is your health. Hospitals are expensive. no money, no service. I know you might think it should be accessible but for unfortunate like us? it's not.
Growing up, I learned to strived harder for my dreams, my goals and one of those is to afford hospitals for my family. Why am I saying this?
My grandmother has been suffering about her illness, what Illness? I don't know, all I know is, she can't stand anymore, she can't eat, she has cough, she's ill. I have been telling my aunt's to let my grandmother to be checked by a doctor for us to have an idea about her illness. After I told them, they said " WALAY KWARTA, MAHAL KAAYO ANG PA CHECK UP". As a student who only have ,400 a week of budget, I cannot lend them money that all I could do is to shut up. They are older, I'm not. They are right, I'm not.
Now my grandmother is bedridden. My point is, being poor is hard. Some would say, you should be contented about your life, I understand it but, If the life they're talking about is a life that is far away from opportunities, barely living, can't afford hospitals, and letting someone die because you don't have the money to pay for their lives? Then I wouldn't be contented anymore. This is not life.
And the reality that if you don't have money, you're just that "no one" in the society sucks. People will look down on you no matter how good you are to them.
Sometimes it's okay not to be contented, remind yourself about the life you want, and not just the bare minimum. Remind yourself everyday that you have to graduate, workhard, earn more and achieved your goals. And of course, alwayse involve God in everything. All will fall into place.
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Her Thoughts
RandomWriting is the best way to share your thoughts and experiences. I made this to avoid anxiety or any mental illnesses. I also wrote my experiences for me to look back at it. Have fun and God bless.
