Dancing In His Storm [BxB] √

17.4: The High and the Wasted

AMBROSE

This Friday night had just turned into something unexpectedly interesting for me and I'm sure it's quite the same thing for August. I was just upset earlier right after telling my true feelings for him and now he's in the same fucking room as me. How could something top that? The person that I like was in my house and that meant everything to me. I can't fucking believe the blatant reality that I just took August home with me tonight. I never saw it coming but hey, this was something new for me and I'm looking forward for what's going to happen in the next few hours.

I remembered throwing a tantrum earlier, smashing that bottle of beer was my way of coping up with what happened. It's truly a scary, sort of barbaric act but I don't blame myself for that because I clearly don't know any better way to react. I'm just upset and somehow scared that August might reject or even shame me for admitting that I like him but now I'm feeling good. I don't sense any of that rejection energy from him. My heart was grooving in so much joy that I just want to scream my heart out. I didn't know this was going to happen but I'm more than happy that it did.

I stood still right in front of my dad's secret booze cabinet as I tried to take all of this good feelings in. I wanted to jump out and scream knowing that I have the right energy for it. I'm drunk and I'm somehow drugged with those mushrooms. After a few moments, I opened the cabinet and noticed a newly opened bottle of Chattanooga whiskey. My dad might've opened this when he came home last time and there's still more of it left for us to drink. I casually snatched it and then eventually walked back to the living room.

"Have you tried some whiskey before?" I spoke the moment I got back. August was just sitting still and he's probably acting as respectful as he could.

"I haven't." August replied looking at the bottle of whiskey.

I went to the kitchen to fetch some ice and glass before eventually walking back to the couch.

"You're not much of a drinker are you?" I'm looking at August and his face were all red most probably because of the alcohol that he had. I don't know how much he had to drink but I can still see he can take some more.

"No, not really." August replied shaking his head.

"Me neither." I said and I don't even know if that's true. I'm very much familiar with drinking alcohol because I'm friends with people who loves to party. Phil was the one who taught me how to drink and since then, he was my bad influence. From smoking to drinking and to even going to the next town just to wreak havoc. Marlon on the other hand loved to host, his parents doesn't care if he throws a big house party and that's why the gang always hangs out at his place. I, on the other hand was that one friend who always says I'm coming but I ditch them anyway.

"But I think I'm starting to like the feeling of being drunk." August added.

"Oh are you?" I was a bit stunned by that. "Then we must drink again." I quickly poured whiskey on each of our glasses before eventually handing August's glass.

"Sure." He agreed taking the glass.

I didn't even wait for August to say something and I was already taking a sip. I feel like I wanted to drink more to make myself even more presently courageous. The alcohol that I had earlier seemed to have fade and I need the effects back.

"Aren't we going to have a toast?" August spat and I had to stop drinking almost immediately.

"For what?"

"I don't know." August let out a short sigh. "For you admitting that you like me?" He spat and I think that was something I'm not expecting just yet.

I was left frozen. I know that's the main reason why I took him here but I didn't think he's going to mention it like it's just a normal thing coming out of his mouth. Perhaps it was the alcohol that had gave him this upfront audacity to just spit the words out like it was nothing.

"I do like you," I uttered. I already said the phrase earlier and taking it back would just make me the fool.

"A toast then," He trailed and we both raised our glasses to have a toast.

A toast for me admitting that I like him. Thinking about it was just making my heart flatter deep inside.

"Fuck, this tastes better than vodka." August shrieked as he appeared to be surprised by the taste of this whiskey.

"I know." I nodded in absolute agreement.

I was just thinking about what's going through August's head when I told him that I like him. He was really persistent when he said we needed to talk about it and I honestly didn't anticipate any of that. I already reached the point where I wanted to just get lost, maybe blink into nothingness. It seemed foolish of me to admit my feelings to a person with the same gender as me. I was just upset earlier that I didn't plan what happened. Maybe the alcohol stripped me naked of my inhibitions that I just said what I said and expected something from it. I didn't see the reaction that I was expecting from August and that made things even worse resulting in me smashing the bottle of beer.

"A kiss for your thoughts?" August spoke and I was totally startled. Did that really come out of his mouth? Was he really using kiss to barter with my thoughts?

"What?" I asked not wanting to believe what I just heard.

"I said a kiss for your thoughts?"

"Okay," I hushed still quite in shock. August didn't waste time and moved his face an inch near towards my face and gave a short peck on my cheeks. "Wait, that's it?"

"What do you want? A kiss on your lips? Fuck no."

"That's utterly disappointing." I replied thinking that it's going to be a kiss on my lips but it was not and I felt shortchanged. I was more than ready to kiss him once again.

"So, what's going on your head right now?" August spat right after the kiss.

"I'm just thinking," I started and I'm somehow torn if I should say the words or not. "Am I gay?"

There was a long reign of silence right after I asked the question. The air seemed chilly and I was just about to regret what I just said. The sound of the television was good at doing its unspoken job that it made things a little less awkward than it already was. I waited for August to speak, he's probably thinking of his words.

"Ambrose," August finally let out. "I..."

"What?" I leaned on the backrest of the couch still facing August. With the anticipation growing bigger and bigger, I gawked at him.

"I like you too." He blurted out and my feelings were thrown into a paradise of butterflies.

The words echoed inside my head.

Is this really happening? I asked myself and I had to move a little bit just to know that I'm still present with the reality and I'm not just hallucinating. I don't want this to be something that my mind made up because I had to much mushrooms earlier. I want this to be the reality.

"Wow," I puffed in awe. "Are you for real? Is this really happening?"

"Yes,"

"Pinch my hand if this is all real." I spat and August did pinch my hand. It was enough for me to believe that this was all real.

"I'm not gay but I really do like you." August spat and that felt comforting and somehow scary at the very same time.

"What about Rachel?" I asked instantly regretting asking it. It's quite too soon for me to ask this but I already let it out of my mouth.

August's dating Rachel and he just admitted that he liked me too. That warranted some kind of illicit affair if I'm trying to fast forward time. Just the fact that we are both dudes liking each other, that's already something unacceptable. How much more when the he's currently in a relationship with someone.

"Fuck Rachel." August uttered and I can sense some kind of resentment emanating from him. "I just saw him kissing Phil earlier."

"What?" I yelled in total astonishment. "Phil? Really?"

"Yeah, I was about to throw up and I saw them kissing inside the bathroom."

I went quite clearly knowing that I don't have anything to say. I wanted to say sorry for him but why? Why would I feel sorry when I want him to be mine?

The stars seemed to have deliberated and decided to put their coins on me.