Dancing In His Storm [BxB] √

22.7: Love & Predicament

AUGUST

I stood still at the farthest corner as I carefully observed the trio group of Rock, Mary and Gustav having their lunch at one of the benches. It was hard to think that I might have lost the connection that I've built with them during the first week of school and I'm all to blame for that loss. I was having this pinch of hesitation that they might not recognize, acknowledge or even remember me at all. It was such a short dilemma but I had to shake it all off of my shoulder because I don't want to have my lunch alone when all eyes are on me. They all seemed to be having their lunch with such delight and it made my heart jump in pure joy. I don't know why they have chosen to have their lunch here outside the school grounds instead of having it inside the cafeteria. Perhaps they have had enough of the business and the noise, or the constant separation of the cool kids and the invisible ones inside the cafeteria. Perhaps they like the view here better.

I took a deep breath and tried to muster enough will and courage to join them. I have a lot to swallow but this seemed to be my only choice and I have to take it rather than leaving it.

"Is this seat taken?" I spat the moment I approached the bench. I was already expecting that my voice to crack but it did not and that somehow cemented the fact that I've mustered enough courage to face the people that I've neglected for the past few months.

Mary, Rock and Gustav all raised their head to look at me and they were all stunned by my sudden appearance. The expression on their faces looked like they've seen a ghost.

They were all speechless for about a moment until Rock had to break the deadness in the air. "Ahem," Rock had to force a groan, he's probably trying to avoid an awkward situation.

"August!" Mary chirped in, the stunned expression in her face sudden brightened.

"Mind if I join you guys?" I asked politely, however my action was the exact opposite. They haven't said yes yet but I already placed my tray on the table and sat right beside Gustav.

"I was just about to say no, but you have already taken your seat so...." Mary trailed and I was taken aback.

"Uhm..." I was rendered speechless by Mary's statement and I immediately thought I'm not welcome at all.

"I'm just kidding." Mary immediately took back what she had said. She slapped me on my shoulder as she let out a short chuckle to make her point cross easily.

"Oh. Hahaha." I let out a forced laugh but I was actually panicking on the inside. "I thought I'm not welcome." I blurted out thinking that even if Mary was joking, there's still a pinch of truth in that.

"No, no, no. That's not what I meant. I was really just joking." Mary followed up but I'm still not convinced that she was just purely joking.

"Anyway, how are you guys doing?" I asked as I began to touch my spoon.

"Great, we are doing great." Mary replied almost instantly. She sounded very much confident which makes me think that they have probably gained a bit of self-confidence.

"Really, Mary? We are fucking doing great? What part of being the losers club was doing great?" Rock was quick to debunk Mary's words seemingly believing the fact that they're still the losers. It's definitely disheartening to hear Rock say that after how many months of not having to talk to them. I was expecting some changes in him considering that a lot of things have happened but he still sounded very much the negative Rock that I came to know. He still believes that they were the losers club when I know for a fact that they were just being the invisible ones. I've been with the popular kids and they barely talk about them.

"Why do you have to be so negative all the time?" Mary said as a rebuttal to Rocks quick rant.

"I'm not being negative, Mary. I'm just stating facts, and facts are facts." Rock replied still holding onto what he believes.