Dancing In His Storm [BxB] √

23.6: The Storm

AMBROSE

I woke up the very next morning feeling rather exhausted both mentally and emotionally. This wasn't because today's Monday and everyone knows how much people hate Mondays but this was all because of the mental and emotional hangover that I've got from the weekend. I felt like I don't want to get up from this bed. I felt like I just want to lay on bed all day. A lot of things have happened in the short period of time that I just need more time to adjust from everything. The repercussions are hitting harder than ever.

I stared above the ceiling and then into the window that I've just shattered with my fist last night. I slowly propelled myself up and sat at the edge of the bed still yawning widely like I've lacked some sleep. The chilly morning breeze coming in from the broken part of the window sent me some unwanted chills. It was just a brush of breeze but it was nippy that I had to carefully walk towards the curtain and drag it close. I ended up cleaning all of the broken pieces of glass from the floor and I struggled for some time careful not to cut myself in the process. I don't even know why I'm being extra careful when I'm more than willing to slash my throat with a sharp piece last night. I noticed some of the dried blood from my hands and some on the floor. Right when I was just about to fix my bed, I saw some of bloodstains on the blanket and pillows.

I grabbed my phone after fixing everything and thought of calling August back. He's back on my mind but I decided not to call him back just yet. I ended up moving aimlessly throughout my room until I was already holding my towel and before I know it, I was inside the shower. I stared at my fucked up face, my eyes were bloodshot from the crying. I suddenly felt like I don't have the right amount of energy to get up and face this day. There are a lot of bullshit that happened in the last three days that I'm not able to keep up. It seemed like I'm this lone and forsaken soldier that was battling a whole battalion just right after going through an army. The feeling of not wanting to enter school was already dawning upon me and I don't know if I emerge out of this shower that I'd be convinced to just stay home.

It's Monday and I know last Friday was rough for me and August and quite honestly, it was rough with Rachel too. I don't even think I'm more than capable of facing the forthcoming drama all at once. I suddenly felt rueful about kissing Rachel, it was a planned move but it was a shitty move. I know I've dreamt of kissing her before I even met August and began harboring feelings for him. However, I'd say I wasn't as surprised that I kissed her. It felt like a normal kiss and nothing felt romantic and whatnot.

It took me almost twenty minutes just to have a shower and that's all on overthinking. I don't usually overthink like this but with all of the shit that happened, it seemed fitting for me to do it. Whether I'm forced to overthink or not, I really need to think and expect about some of the things that might actually happen at school.

By the time I finished taking a shower, the next thing that I did was cleaning all of the wounds that was formed on my knuckles. Putting some alcohol on it made me squirm in absolute agony for a short while, and after they were dried, I covered my hands with bandage. When I emerged out of the shower, I wasn't that much excited to slip onto my uniform. I feel refreshed but I'm still having this feeling of laziness. I'm still having this dilemma of do I go to school today or do I just stay at home.

If I go to school, there might be this drama with Rachel and August. If I stay home, I'm not sure if I'm going to stay sane with all of the family shenanigans.

A few minutes passed and I found myself fully clothed with my uniform. I think I have no other choice but to go to school. I know I'm not really doing well in school and I might actually fail some of my subjects if I'm not going to enter school. I still want to go to a good college even though I already know that with my low grades, I'd only be accepted at a few low performing colleges.