The Marauders - Order of the Phoenix - Part Two

Casio QS-16

Remus sat stroking Sirius's hair away from his forehead. He'd fallen asleep on the Potters's couch, the cat curled up on his stomach, his head in Remus's lap. Remus stared vacantly at the brickwork that surrounded the hearth of the fireplace, and waited, glancing every now and then at the clock on the mantel.

It had taken hours to get Sirius to sleep.

His eyes traversed to the deflated owl-shaped balloon that lay on the floor, a victim of Roger's sharp claws. Remus felt rather a bit like that balloon - over-exhausted and deflated, not to mention like an utter piece of rubbish.

He had the worst feeling, and he was really, really, really dreading the moment that floo would light up and Lily and James would come through to confirm everything he was feeling. If he was right, and he really hoped he wasn't (but he already knew he was), then him and Sirius were both about to learn a very, very hard lesson on holding their tongues and walking away from anger-driven situations.

He couldn't believe he'd let his mouth run off like he had. Had he finished the sentence? That was the worst part. He wasn't sure if he had stopped himself or not from finishing the sentence.

Not that it really mattered. Even a fragment was more than enough.

And he'd known from Regulus's eyes that the end of it hadn't been an enigma, either.

He would have been better off if you had died.

What sort of horrible, piece-of-shit thing was that to even think - so much worse to actually speak it, and how dare he blame the moon. How dare he blame anything except the callouses and scars on his own body acting out...

Monster.

"What the fuck is the matter with me?" Remus whispered, shaking his head. "I'm a terrible human being."

Remus looked down at Sirius.

He was so scared the news would wreck him. Despite the past three months of Sirius boasting to any of the Marauders that would listen about how dead to him Regulus was, he had gone to Mungo's with very little hesitation... so Regulus hadn't been as dead to him as Sirius had wanted everyone to think.

The hearth flashed green sparks and Remus drew in his breath as Lily appeared.

The look on her face confirmed every single one of his worst fears.

James, Lily, Remus, and Sirius sat around the table in the Potter's dining room. Lily was holding both of Sirius's hands across the table, his knee bouncing with nervous energy, his boot tapping out that same heart beat as he's done sitting beside Regulus's hospital bed before. He stared at the table, memorizing the grain, and didn't move, even when Roger came and rubbed his body against Sirius's legs.

James wasn't sure how much of what he had seen that he ought to tell Sirius. After all, he worried if Sirius knew what Dumbledore had done that Sirius would flip out and who knew what kind of manic thing he would do in the heat of the moment? James worried about the backlash. So he carefully picked through the story of what Mopsus had said, leaving out the entire saga with Dumbledore, simply assuring Sirius that Mopsus had promised Regulus was not among the inferi in the cave, and telling Sirius about finding the watch at Fingal's cave.

James held the watch out to Sirius. "When you press the knob to make it glow... Regulus will know you're thinking of him."

Sirius paused his foot tapping and reached across the table to take the watch.

"There's also apparently a letter for you. At your parents house, and apparently Kreacher will help you to get it."

Sirius stared at the watch, his eyes welling up, and he held it across his palm.