The Marauders - Order of the Phoenix - Part Two

Baby Names

Lily was doodling on her notes for her classes, hardly listening as Professor Laurie went on about handling emotional young witches and wizards whose accidental magic was prone to outbursts. She smiled as she colored in bubble letters of Harry's name, smiling at the curve of the Y's tail. She filled some of the letters in with circles and some with stars and she was working on some stripes in the second R when Professor Laurie cleared his throat and she looked up to find him standing over her, the other students gone, the class well over and her mind anywhere but in that hall.

"Oh my stars," she said, flushing pink.

Professor Laurie's voice was amused, luckily, as he declared, "I am sorry that my lecture was so boring, Miss. Evans..." he glanced at her paper. "I thought that your husband's name was James?"

"It is," she said. "Harry's the name of our -- our baby."

Professor Laurie looked surprised. "Your baby? I didn't know you had --"

"Oh no - not yet. We haven't had Harry yet."

"Oh I see." Professor Laurie glanced at her stomach. "So you're --"

"Trying," Lily answered, her mouth a slight frown. She had, after all, spent the night crying over having not yet succeeded.

"Ah. Well I shall be -" Laurie paused, then shook his head, "I was going to say thinking of you but that seems wrong, and rooting for you doesn't quite feel right either so suffice to say that I'll be happy for you."

Lily laughed in spite of herself. "Thank you, you're very sweet." She paused. Then, "Harry's not really what is distracting me, though, and I actually meant to talk to you today."

"Oh? And how can I be of help?" He sat in the chair next to hers.

"My --" Lily thought about the connection a moment, then said, "My brother-in-law passed away last month."

"I'm very sorry to hear that, Lily," Professor Laurie's eyebrows tugged together. "Were you close?"

"He was the first person I purposefully chose to incorporate," she answered.

Professor Laurie let out a long, low breath that said all she needed to hear - he knew exactly what she was about to ask him. "I'm so sorry. Gosh, usually this doesn't happen until much, much later in the practitioner's lifetime when they choose to begin Magique Amour..." he paused. "You feel empty."

"Yes," Lily gasped.

Professor Laurie nodded. "Because a part of you has been taken away."

"Because it has, hasn't it? That part of me that's connected to him?"

"No," Laurie replied, "No... You haven't lost a part of yourself, not really. It's been returned to you."

Lily stared at him.

"Magique Amour is not destructive magic," Laurie explained, "You don't lose a part of yourself or give a part of yourself away. You only stand to gain from it. The act of loving another is a growth. You expand to fit it in there and when the subject is gone, the part of you that grew remains on. You've not lost a part of yourself but you've gained an empty place."

Lily frowned. "I don't like that he's gone."

"No one likes when their loved ones are gone."

"I mean from me."

"He never will fully go. Once you've incorporated a person, they're a part of you forever. But you've got room now to match the love you had for him for another. I suppose that sometimes around losing him is when you decided to... try... yeah?"